BHR received this article from one of our followers, Ashley, from Rhode Island. We think it is a great article and wanted to share it with everyone. Thanks Ashley!
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I confess. I did it. I broke up with a guy for all the wrong reasons, or so I’m told.

Our break up started with the four famous last words, "we need to talk." After months of building up the courage to tell him that I just wasn’t that into him (yes, I said months), I could finally say it. Why, you ask? Well, I finally had a reason … that I could put into one sentence.

"It’s not you, it’s me. I’m not ready for a serious relationship."
What a lie. The truth was I was ready for a serious relationship, but, just not with him.

Yes, he was a well-to-do, handsome yuppie. Yes, he had a dog with a picket fence. Yes, he had values. But, just because he looked good on paper, didn’t mean he was right for me.

Let’s call it the pizza theory. I like a bunch of things independently: chocolate, goat cheese, sour patch kids. When you check the boxes and try to order a pizza with all these things as toppings, they don’t necessarily taste good.
Likewise, this guy had a bunch of great qualities (looks, deep pockets, drive, intellect, and generosity), but, put them together and we had a hot mess of an insecure guy, who wined about television show plots, snored, and criticized everything and anyone.

I had to break up with him, but, I couldn’t tell him the real reason(s). It would only lead to a fight or debate, neither of which would have a productive result. So I ended the relationship, giving him the wrong reason because it was the right thing for me.

Moral of the story… Don’t simplify compatibility down to a check-the-box form; look at the big picture. If you don’t do that, you’ll only get a slice of what a relationship is supposed to be.

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