Broken Heart Rehab

Posts Tagged ‘Healing’

One of the toughest things about a break up is breaking the habit. By "the habit", I mean the routines and rituals that are created in a relationship. For example, every Thursday night my ex and I would watch our favorite shows together. Once the relationship bit the dust, Thursdays really sucked. It was one of the many reminders of what we once had and did together.

For a few weeks, I would sulk on Thursdays. I would even watch our shows and cry. But all that did was slow my healing process down. It wasn’t easy, but I created a new ritual for that night. Now, that is my night out with my girlfriends. It took some time, but what was once a painful day became a day I looked forward to.

What old habits are you hanging onto? Even more, do you still partake in them solo for the mere painful reminder? If so, I suggest you replace your old habits with your ex with new ones that are just for you. Do you want even more of a challenge? Then change it to something so different, you won’t even have a trace of your ex in it.

For example, was Monday night "movie night" from your past? Then now it is "bowling night", or "sushi rolling night". Don’t do anything that reminds you of your ex. You actually will start to enjoy your new routine that is custom made for the fabulous new you!

Going through a break up can take it’s toll. You may find yourself
obsessing over details, losing sleep, and just trying to figure "it
all out". This can really bring you down. Here are some tips to take care of your emotional self:

•spend time with others whose company you enjoy
•stay in contact with important people in your life
•treat yourself kindly
•feel proud if yourself
•reread favorite books, review favorite movies
•allow yourself to cry
•find things that make you laugh
•express your outrage constructively
•spend time with your pets and children

Taking care of your emotional self is only one step in healing, but an important one to take.

It is easy to wallow in sorrow with a broken heart. It can feel nice to lay around, cry, and react to your new and unwelcomed singlehood. And that is ok, for a short time. But too much self pity leads to self destruction, and the only person you are hurting is yourself (not your ex).

One of the best ways to liberate yourself from the depths of despair is through exercise. It is ok to take baby steps, especially if it has been some time since you have had a workout. Joining a gym has many benefits beyond toning your fabulous single body. It is a great way to meet new people, join classes (aka be active in the outside
world again), and improves mental health.

Starting with thirty minutes of moderate cardio three times a week is a perfect start. Walking on the treadmill, yoga, or even rowing are good ways to bring new movement to your body. After feeling confident with these exercises, add fifteen minutes of light weight training to the end of your cardio session. This is a complete physical and mental boost, improving not only your psyche (hello new hot body!) but will elevate self esteem and mental clarity.

Daily supplements like vitamin D, Omega 3′s, and herbs like St. John’s Wort can add to your mental health, elevating mood and motivation. If a gym membership is out of your budget, neighborhood walks, bike rides, and longs runs are just as beneficial. It is time to love yourself and your life. Taking care of your body is a sure ticket to experiencing the beautiful new you.

**Please consult with your physician prior to taking any vitamins or supplements.

One day your up, one day your down. It is common to experience a roller coaster of emotions while going through a break up. Some days, I feel great being single! I love the freedom. I enjoy spending more time with my friends and not answering to anybody. I even enjoy doing things and going places alone! But there are other days that are different. Some days, I feel sad and lonely, and a bit lost.

This is common for people who are living solo. Not having a constant companion to bounce ideas and stories off of can be strange, especially if you have been used to doing that in the past. But here at BHR, we have a few ways to help ease those not-so-great days.

1. Start a “Good Day” journal.

Writing down your feelings when you are sad is easy. How about keeping a journal only for the days that you feel good? When you are happy and feeling great about your single life, write it down. Document what you love about it. When you are having sad day, reference your “Good Day” journal. Remind yourself of your positive emotions.

2. Challenge your thoughts.

It is easy to get into a mental routine. This means to repeat the same thoughts and emotions over and over. Next time you find yourself going to the same negative thought that you have been having for a long time, challenge it with a different thought. Make these thoughts mirrors, and completely reverse your feeling on it.

3. Adopt a pet.

If you do not have a pet, now may be a great time to get one. Animals bring much life into a home, and are wonderful companions! Your local shelter will have many animals that are in need of a good home, and knowing that you rescued a life will bring much joy to your heart! If you feel you are not ready for the responsibility of an animal, plants and flowers in your home will bring life into it.

4. Create a list of your perfect mate.

Make a list of ten things that you want out of a partner. Be as specific as possible. This list will be your guide. If you begin dating, see how your date matches this list. Do not compromise and stay as true to what you desire as possible.

Being single can be a very exciting time in your life! Know that it is common and ok to have lonely days. But remember; the one thing worse than being alone is wishing that you were alone.

Whenever I go through a breakup, I really want to talk to my friends about it. Actually, I want to talk to anyone about it who will listen!  It is not that I enjoy hearing myself talk, it is for another reason.  I am looking for that person to give me advice. Even more, I am looking for that person to say something perfect that will give me the "ah ha!" moment. The moment that makes it all make sense.  Basically, tell me something that will make me see clearly and make all of this go away.  I believe it is therapeutic to talk like this. I mean, you ARE trying to make sense of this mess, right? But, be careful.  Sometimes overdoing this is counter productive.

Your friends and colleagues will be there for you, but too much dishing out on your part will eventually be draining for them. Most people are eager to help, but don’t become a drag. The last thing you want are the people who are in your life to cringe when your name pops up on the caller I.D. 

I am not saying don’t talk about your feelings and ask for advice. But keep it to a limit. Even allow yourself ten minutes of bitching and moaning, and then cut yourself off (unless the conversation is productive on both ends and is feeling natural). And remember, ALWAYS ask how the other person is doing at some point. Otherwise, you will have friends that feel used and drained, and will dread your company. Make this a point, and they will likely feel grateful to offer you advice and their insight. Just asking about THEM will make a huge difference. As well, it will give you a quick mental break from your own thoughts, and that, is refreshing.