• 1.  Eat regularly (breakfast, lunch, and dinner)
• 2.  Eat healthfully
• 3.  Exercise and lift weights
• 4.  Play sports
• 5.  Get medical care for prevention
• 6.  Take time off when your sick
• 7.  Get a massage or other body work
• 8.  Do physical activity that is fun
• 9.  Get enough sleep
• 10.  Wear clothes you like
• 11.  Take vacations or day trips
• 12.  Get away from stressful technology such as phones, computers, faxes, pagers

Doing these simple things will make a huge difference in your physical well being. Remember, loving yourself is the best kind of love.

One of the best ways to liberate yourself from the depths of despair is through exercise. It is ok to take baby steps, especially if it has been some time since you have had a workout. Joining a gym has many benefits beyond toning your fabulous single body. It is a great way to meet new people, join classes (aka be active in the outside
world again), and improves mental health.

Starting with thirty minutes of moderate cardio three times a week is a perfect start. Walking on the treadmill, yoga, or even rowing are good ways to bring new movement to your body. After feeling confident with these exercises, add fifteen minutes of light weight training to the end of your cardio session. This is a complete physical and mental boost, improving not only your psyche (hello new hot body!) but will elevate self esteem and mental clarity.

Daily supplements like vitamin D, Omega 3′s, and herbs like St. John’s Wort can add to your mental health, elevating mood and motivation. If a gym membership is out of your budget, neighborhood walks, bike rides, and longs runs are just as beneficial. It is time to love yourself and your life. Taking care of your body is a sure ticket to experiencing the beautiful new you.

**Please consult with your physician prior to taking any vitamins or supplements.

1.    Look Hot

Yeah, we know, your Uggs, oversized college sweatshirt, and Old Navy plaid pjs are comfort clothes. While they may be comfy, they certainly do not show off your assets! You should always take pride in your appearance, not only for you, but, for yourself. We’re not saying you should be red carpet ready at all times, but a little mascara, and some pants that actually flatter you may just get you noticed next time you’re out.

2.    Plan

There’s an old adage that says, “if you fail to plan, plan to fail.” The same holds true in your dating and social life. If you simply sit around and wait for someone else plan your social calendar, there is a high probability that you will be sitting at home next Friday. Gone are the days of high school and college where we had homecomings, football games, frat parties, and extracurricular activities to look forward to. Now it’s your turn to make your social calendar! Plan a dinner party (think theme: find a mister for your sister), or invite the ladies to happy hour.

3.    Get a Hobby

One of the greatest things about breaking up with someone is that you actually have free time to take care of yourself and do things that you want to do. Take advantage of your newly-found freedom by developing a hobby. This is not only a great way to enrich yourself, but it’s a great way to meet people and have great conversation on all those hot dates you are inevitably bound to have. Having a cool hobby makes you happy, interesting, and confident. Think about it – while a guy certainly shares your love for the gym, eating and sleeping, it would be much more interesting to tell him about that dance class you take (sexy) or your recent trip to some exotic land.

4.    Love a part of your body

This may sound silly, but loving a part of your body is your time to celebrate you. For instance, if you have nice feet, get regular pedicures. It you have a nice butt, do some extra squats. This somewhat goes along with our “Look Hot” advice, but it goes deeper because it’s about nurturing yourself.

5.    Pets

People (and particularly men) love animals. Go to that Sunday pet adoption, or even better, adopt a pet at that adoption. Not only will you automatically have a furry little companion, but Spike will surely bring the boys to the yard. If you don’t have time for pet adoption, make conversation with guys who walk their dogs – these are the friendliest of all men! Trust us J

6.    Conversation or college tees

Much like approaching a person with a dog, it’s easier to approach someone wearing a shirt that screams something. We caution you against conversation tees that say “Golddigger” or “Daddy’s girl.” That’s a little 1994. But go down to the trendiest boutique and buy a cute conversational tee. College tees are also awesome. So show some school pride, and watch the men line up to talk to you. Note that if you wear a college tee during football season, and your school is ranked, you may be asked football questions, so go to the trouble of checking last weeks score.

7.    Gym Membership

Joining a gym after a breakup is a win-win. Not only do you win by improving your health and body image, but it’s yet another venue to meet men!

8.    Sports League

The single, most sure-fire way to meet guys is to join a co-ed sports team. This is also a great way to spend your newly-found free time after a breakup (see “Get a Hobby” above).

9.    Weekly City Newspapers

Every city has a weekly publication that lists all of the upcoming bars, reading events, and concerts. Next time you’re out and about, grab one. Challenge yourself to go to at least one event a month.

Remember the old saying, “curiosity killed the cat”? Don’t let your curiosity about your ex’s whereabouts, relationship status, status updates, job (you get the picture) compel you to hit “Accept” – or even worst “Add Friend” – when using today’s social networking sites.  It’s very tempting to be given an all access pass to view all the intimate details about what your ex is doing, but you must reject the invitation. Think about it like this: if you’re not friends with the person in real life, why would you befriend them in cyberspace?  The ladies of BHR recommend that you remember another old saying when deciding whether to become cyber friends with your ex: “Just Say No.” 

It’s like yin and yang. There is sadness and there is happiness. Unfortunately, you cannot have one without the other. Now, I’m a glass half full girl. I believe there is a lot more happiness in the world, you just have to look for it. It takes more effort to find all of the good things in life because bad things seem to permeate a lot of people’s thoughts. And they like to spread their misery. But you have to look for the good. Look for the positive people. Of course, there are times when you will be sad and you need to grieve. But you need to let it all out and let it go. Sitting in grief is not pretty and is not healthy. The reason we write these posts is to let you know you are not alone. And you will get through. It just takes time to mend a broken heart.

It is understandable to act "out of character" while going through a big change. I actually think it is a good thing. All the activities
that you may have once felt held back from are now available to you.My advice? Take it on! But, not all at once. While the "new you" is a wonderful thing to become, take it in stride. Anything in excess can potentially be harmful.

I suggest finding balance between new activities. If going out on the town is your new love, then reserve at least one or two nights in.  Take these personal nights as a time to rest and reflect. Staying in every night? Then, take a night or two to go out. Even just a movie, a long walk, or a drink with a close friend is healthy. It will speed your progress by shifting a constant perspective. Creating simple balance while your new self emerges is important! And in the meanwhile, enjoy the change and the beautiful new you!

1.    Be Merry.  We get that it can be very depressing to see snuggly couples sharing holiday joy.  Rather than characterize these interactions as painful reminders that you are no longer in that relationship, be happy for those PDA-poster children.  The positive energy you’ll send out will come back to you in no time.

2.    Plan in advance.  If you’re left with no plans because of the break up, don’t fret and make plans. Whether this is reconnecting with family, or planning to volunteer at a charitable organization in November or December, you control the key to your social calendar.  Unlock the possibilities.

3.    Retail therapy.  We’re not advocating full-on credit card debt, but there’s nothing wrong with a little retail therapy during the holidays, especially given the amazing sales! Buy that sexy red dress that you will wear to your company’s holiday party (and stand under the mistletoe while you’re at it).

In almost all of my serious relationships, I have lost mutual friends along the way once my boyfriend and I have broken up. It is sad but true. If you have become great friends with his best friend’s girlfriend, chances are that relationship will end. The girlfriend is in a terrible predicament because she still has to hang out with your ex when she is with her boyfriend. And if she is hanging out with you, she feels like she is betraying your ex and her boyfriend. Not good. And why do you want to still hang out with her? Was she really that great of a friend? Or do you secretly hope that you can find out what your ex is up to if you stay in touch with his best friend’s girl? If the latter is the case, then you are in a whole heap of trouble. You are inflicting pain onto yourself that is not necessary. By continuing to hear about your ex, and what he is up to, you stay rooted in the past. You need to move on to the future. And by cutting ties with your “source” you are doing just that.

Now if you are truly good friends with a mutual friend of your ex’s, then you need to have a conversation with him or her and be completely honest. Let him or her know that you value their friendship. You realize they are in an uncomfortable situation but you will do your best to make them as comfortable as you can. You want to continue being friends and you will not—under any circumstance—bring up your ex. You may be in pain but you will deal with this grief with your other non-mutual friends and not subject him or her to that prickly conversation. If you need some time away from your friend, so that you can mourn your relationship from your ex and not impinge on them your sadness, then tell him or her exactly that. If they are receptive to all of this, then and only then can you start to move forward with the friendship independent from your ex. If they are not interested in remaining friends because it would be too hard, respect that and move on.

A lot of mutual friends are really cool people. But would you really have even been friends with them if you did not have the common factor of a person that is no longer in your life? Usually the answer is no. So why keep them in your life. Life is too short to have people in it that could be toxic by just being around. And who needs a constant reminder of your old significant other.

Sometimes there are casualties in breakups. And if you cannot remain friends with a mutual friend of your ex’s, then c’est la vie. You will find other friends. And if they are a true friend, then they will end up still there for you in the end. True friendship consists not in the multitude of friends, but in their worth and value – Ben Johnson.

This is common for people who are living solo. Not having a constant companion to bounce ideas and stories off of can be strange, especially if you have been used to doing that in the past. But here at BHR, we have a few ways to help ease those not-so-great days.

1. Start a “Good Day” journal.

Writing down your feelings when you are sad is easy. How about keeping a journal only for the days that you feel good? When you are happy and feeling great about your single life, write it down. Document what you love about it. When you are having sad day, reference your “Good Day” journal. Remind yourself of your positive emotions.

2. Challenge your thoughts.

It is easy to get into a mental routine. This means to repeat the same thoughts and emotions over and over. Next time you find yourself going to the same negative thought that you have been having for a long time, challenge it with a different thought. Make these thoughts mirrors, and completely reverse your feeling on it.

3. Adopt a pet.

If you do not have a pet, now may be a great time to get one. Animals bring much life into a home, and are wonderful companions! Your local shelter will have many animals that are in need of a good home, and knowing that you rescued a life will bring much joy to your heart! If you feel you are not ready for the responsibility of an animal, plants and flowers in your home will bring life into it.

4. Create a list of your perfect mate.

Make a list of ten things that you want out of a partner. Be as specific as possible. This list will be your guide. If you begin dating, see how your date matches this list. Do not compromise and stay as true to what you desire as possible.

Being single can be a very exciting time in your life! Know that it is common and ok to have lonely days. But remember; the one thing worse than being alone is wishing that you were alone.