Broken Heart Rehab

Posts Tagged ‘Break-up’

Going through a break up can take it’s toll. You may find yourself
obsessing over details, losing sleep, and just trying to figure "it
all out". This can really bring you down. Here are some tips to take care of your emotional self:

•spend time with others whose company you enjoy
•stay in contact with important people in your life
•treat yourself kindly
•feel proud if yourself
•reread favorite books, review favorite movies
•allow yourself to cry
•find things that make you laugh
•express your outrage constructively
•spend time with your pets and children

Taking care of your emotional self is only one step in healing, but an important one to take.

A girlfriend of mine recently told me that she broke up with her boyfriend because he had anger issues. Thank goodness! I am thrilled she had enough common sense to know that when you are with someone that has anger issues it does not get better. Now can a person change? Absolutely. But you don’t need to be the guinea pig and stick around to find out if that will ever be a possibility. And just like the old saying goes, “A leopard never his spots.” That is a tough pill to swallow.

Do you need to find out why the person is angry? No. If you do not have children with this man, run. Get out of dodge. If you do have children, go to counseling, immediately. Anger is probably one of the worst characteristics of a potential life-mate. Anger manifests itself so many different ways. It can make you sick, emotionally and physically. It can, and usually does, make you angry, scared and sad. And last, but certainly not least, it can be very dangerous and even life threatening.

We are obviously not talking about the once in awhile “I’m pissed at the world so I’m in a bad mood for a day” type of normal person. We are talking about someone with deep-seated rage. And you know in your gut which type of guy you are with. Stick to your instincts. Step out of the situation and imagine if one of your friends was dating a guy with the same rage that your partner has. What would you tell her? Listen to your own advice. And always, if you feel you can not get out of a bad situation, call for help. Call a friend, a family member, a women’s shelter or the police. Get out sooner rather than later. There are lots of great guys out there that know how to appropriately express their emotions.

It is common after a break-up to have a mixture of emotions. Depression can easily creep into your life. One of the things that can be neglected is your physical self. If you feel this relates to you, here are some coping strategies to loving your body!

• 1.  Eat regularly (breakfast, lunch, and dinner)
• 2.  Eat healthfully
• 3.  Exercise and lift weights
• 4.  Play sports
• 5.  Get medical care for prevention
• 6.  Take time off when your sick
• 7.  Get a massage or other body work
• 8.  Do physical activity that is fun
• 9.  Get enough sleep
• 10.  Wear clothes you like
• 11.  Take vacations or day trips
• 12.  Get away from stressful technology such as phones, computers, faxes, pagers

Doing these simple things will make a huge difference in your physical well being. Remember, loving yourself is the best kind of love.

It is easy to wallow in sorrow with a broken heart. It can feel nice to lay around, cry, and react to your new and unwelcomed singlehood. And that is ok, for a short time. But too much self pity leads to self destruction, and the only person you are hurting is yourself (not your ex).

One of the best ways to liberate yourself from the depths of despair is through exercise. It is ok to take baby steps, especially if it has been some time since you have had a workout. Joining a gym has many benefits beyond toning your fabulous single body. It is a great way to meet new people, join classes (aka be active in the outside
world again), and improves mental health.

Starting with thirty minutes of moderate cardio three times a week is a perfect start. Walking on the treadmill, yoga, or even rowing are good ways to bring new movement to your body. After feeling confident with these exercises, add fifteen minutes of light weight training to the end of your cardio session. This is a complete physical and mental boost, improving not only your psyche (hello new hot body!) but will elevate self esteem and mental clarity.

Daily supplements like vitamin D, Omega 3′s, and herbs like St. John’s Wort can add to your mental health, elevating mood and motivation. If a gym membership is out of your budget, neighborhood walks, bike rides, and longs runs are just as beneficial. It is time to love yourself and your life. Taking care of your body is a sure ticket to experiencing the beautiful new you.

**Please consult with your physician prior to taking any vitamins or supplements.

After a break up, it’s hard to navigate the murky waters of dating. Here is your guide to navigating the city as a single girl. You just might meet some interesting people (read: hot men) along the way.

1.    Look Hot

Yeah, we know, your Uggs, oversized college sweatshirt, and Old Navy plaid pjs are comfort clothes. While they may be comfy, they certainly do not show off your assets! You should always take pride in your appearance, not only for you, but, for yourself. We’re not saying you should be red carpet ready at all times, but a little mascara, and some pants that actually flatter you may just get you noticed next time you’re out.

2.    Plan

There’s an old adage that says, “if you fail to plan, plan to fail.” The same holds true in your dating and social life. If you simply sit around and wait for someone else plan your social calendar, there is a high probability that you will be sitting at home next Friday. Gone are the days of high school and college where we had homecomings, football games, frat parties, and extracurricular activities to look forward to. Now it’s your turn to make your social calendar! Plan a dinner party (think theme: find a mister for your sister), or invite the ladies to happy hour.

3.    Get a Hobby

One of the greatest things about breaking up with someone is that you actually have free time to take care of yourself and do things that you want to do. Take advantage of your newly-found freedom by developing a hobby. This is not only a great way to enrich yourself, but it’s a great way to meet people and have great conversation on all those hot dates you are inevitably bound to have. Having a cool hobby makes you happy, interesting, and confident. Think about it – while a guy certainly shares your love for the gym, eating and sleeping, it would be much more interesting to tell him about that dance class you take (sexy) or your recent trip to some exotic land.

4.    Love a part of your body

This may sound silly, but loving a part of your body is your time to celebrate you. For instance, if you have nice feet, get regular pedicures. It you have a nice butt, do some extra squats. This somewhat goes along with our “Look Hot” advice, but it goes deeper because it’s about nurturing yourself.

5.    Pets

People (and particularly men) love animals. Go to that Sunday pet adoption, or even better, adopt a pet at that adoption. Not only will you automatically have a furry little companion, but Spike will surely bring the boys to the yard. If you don’t have time for pet adoption, make conversation with guys who walk their dogs – these are the friendliest of all men! Trust us J

6.    Conversation or college tees

Much like approaching a person with a dog, it’s easier to approach someone wearing a shirt that screams something. We caution you against conversation tees that say “Golddigger” or “Daddy’s girl.” That’s a little 1994. But go down to the trendiest boutique and buy a cute conversational tee. College tees are also awesome. So show some school pride, and watch the men line up to talk to you. Note that if you wear a college tee during football season, and your school is ranked, you may be asked football questions, so go to the trouble of checking last weeks score.

7.    Gym Membership

Joining a gym after a breakup is a win-win. Not only do you win by improving your health and body image, but it’s yet another venue to meet men!

8.    Sports League

The single, most sure-fire way to meet guys is to join a co-ed sports team. This is also a great way to spend your newly-found free time after a breakup (see “Get a Hobby” above).

9.    Weekly City Newspapers

Every city has a weekly publication that lists all of the upcoming bars, reading events, and concerts. Next time you’re out and about, grab one. Challenge yourself to go to at least one event a month.