Broken Heart Rehab

Posts Tagged ‘Break up advice’

One day your up, one day your down. It is common to experience a roller coaster of emotions while going through a break up. Some days, I feel great being single! I love the freedom. I enjoy spending more time with my friends and not answering to anybody. I even enjoy doing things and going places alone! But there are other days that are different. Some days, I feel sad and lonely, and a bit lost.

This is common for people who are living solo. Not having a constant companion to bounce ideas and stories off of can be strange, especially if you have been used to doing that in the past. But here at BHR, we have a few ways to help ease those not-so-great days.

1. Start a “Good Day” journal.

Writing down your feelings when you are sad is easy. How about keeping a journal only for the days that you feel good? When you are happy and feeling great about your single life, write it down. Document what you love about it. When you are having sad day, reference your “Good Day” journal. Remind yourself of your positive emotions.
2. Challenge your thoughts.

It is easy to get into a mental routine. This means to repeat the same thoughts and emotions over and over. Next time you find yourself going to the same negative thought that you have been having for a long time, challenge it with a different thought. Make these thoughts mirrors, and completely reverse your feeling on it.
3. Adopt a pet.

If you do not have a pet, now may be a great time to get one. Animals bring much life into a home, and are wonderful companions! Your local shelter will have many animals that are in need of a good home, and knowing that you rescued a life will bring much joy to your heart! If you feel you are not ready for the responsibility of an animal, plants and flowers in your home will bring life into it.
4. Create a list of your perfect mate.

Make a list of ten things that you want out of a partner. Be as specific as possible. This list will be your guide. If you begin dating, see how your date matches this list. Do not compromise and stay as true to what you desire as possible.

Being single can be a very exciting time in your life! Know that it is common and ok to have lonely days. But remember; the one thing worse than being alone is wishing that you were alone.

1. You only have to answer to yourself

10. No need to explain yourself when you get home from the bar "too late"

One of the toughest things about a break up is breaking the habit. By "the habit", I mean the routines and rituals that are created in a relationship. For example, every Thursday night my ex and I would watch our favorite shows together. Once the relationship bit the dust, Thursdays really sucked. It was one of the many reminders of what we once had and did together.

For a few weeks, I would sulk on Thursdays. I would even watch our shows and cry. But all that did was slow my healing process down. It wasn’t easy, but I created a new ritual for that night. Now, that is my night out with my girlfriends. It took some time, but what was once a painful day became a day I looked forward to.

What old habits are you hanging onto? Even more, do you still partake in them solo for the mere painful reminder? If so, I suggest you replace your old habits with your ex with new ones that are just for you. Do you want even more of a challenge? Then change it to something so different, you won’t even have a trace of your ex in it.

For example, was Monday night "movie night" from your past? Then now it is "bowling night", or "sushi rolling night". Don’t do anything that reminds you of your ex. You actually will start to enjoy your new routine that is custom made for the fabulous new you!

Making the decision to break up is a big one, and one that requires a lot of consideration. Keep in mind, however, that not all roads lead to a break up. There are times when a make-up is better than a break up. In trying to figure out whether you want to make (or break) the relationship, ask yourself the following:

•Can you forgive the person for what happened?
•Are you and your significant other willing to meet halfway to try to work on overcoming the recent relationship challenge?
•Do you honestly believe that you can move past and accept (without resentment) what happened between you and your significant other?

Remember that one of the benefits of being in a relationship with another person is to feel happy and grow.  If you can’t answer yes to either of the questions above, happiness and growth may me a problem.

If you answered no to any of the questions above, you should spend some time deciding and discussing with your significant other what’s in each of your respective best interests to make up or break up.

Going through a break up can take it’s toll. You may find yourself
obsessing over details, losing sleep, and just trying to figure "it
all out". This can really bring you down. Here are some tips to take care of your emotional self:

•spend time with others whose company you enjoy
•stay in contact with important people in your life
•treat yourself kindly
•feel proud if yourself
•reread favorite books, review favorite movies
•allow yourself to cry
•find things that make you laugh
•express your outrage constructively
•spend time with your pets and children

Taking care of your emotional self is only one step in healing, but an important one to take.