Broken Heart Rehab

Posts Tagged ‘Advice’

Sometimes, we paint red flags white. We chose to ignore warning signs because we believe we can "make it work" or because we think "people can change."
Next time you pick up that paint brush, recognize that there are some red flags that can’t be ignored.

•Your significant other is verbally or physically abusive
•He or she makes you feel like you’re begging for affection
•He or she makes you pay for affection
•You catch him or her red-handed in the act
•You do not share the same fundamental values as your significant other

There are, of course, other red flags to watch for, but, this list is a good starting point to evaluate whether it’s time to pay heed to that warning.

It’s that time of year again! Spring is here. It’s the time of "out with the old, in with the new."  Every year, I spring clean my house. I get rid of old clothes (it is so hard to do that!) and re-vamp my pad. I love the change, and it is good for the soul to create space for new opportunity that is on the way.  This is also a good time to Spring clean your heart. There are quite a few ways to do this.

First, get rid of anything that reminds you of your ex or old lovers.  That "box full of memories" under the bed? Throw it out. All of it.  Also, toss pictures, shirts, and basically any memorabilia of the people of the past. Not only does this create new space, it opens up the way for new people to enter your life.

Next, get new sheets. Your last set was romped around in by lovers of long ago. Fresh sheets and linens will now only have the scent of YOU on them.

Also, if you are really wanting to change and freshen up your place, paint your walls a new color! This will create an atmosphere that is totally new.

When you have your place looking (and feeling) different that before, it is totally liberating. Things of the past really become just that.  You deserve to have this happiness and new freedom. It is time to celebrate the new you!

Just like relationships, sometimes you have to break up with friends. Often times – especially if it is a "college" or "childhood" – we stick it out for no other reason than loyalty or, even worse, longevity. What we have to remember is that friendships are not collectibles, and unless they grow and enrich your life, it’s time to part ways. So just what are the top 4 reasons we find as legit reasons to tell that "friend" that you’re just not into them? Here is our list:

1. It is a one sided friendship. It is their world and you’re just living in it. You find yourself accommodating them all of the time.

2. It is boring. Life is too short to be bored. We are cerebral creatures and need stimuli. If the most stimulating thing your friend has to say is how many calories she at for lunch, it’s time to say "check please."

3. Your friend is mean. This is the most obvious reason to break up with a friend. However, you would believe how much bullying people put up with just because they went to kindergarten/college/or any other school environment with someone! Next time your "friend" criticizes your appearance or hits on your significant other, ask them to explain why you’re still friends.

4. They guilt you into things. Someone who truly respects you, your time, and your commitments would never try to make you feel guilty for not going with them somewhere or not doing something for them. Say bon voyage next time your "friend" gives you a guilt trip.

Just remember, learning to let go is an important quality to have. When the bad outweighs the good, sometimes you just have to do it.

Breaking up is hard to do. Getting over it is even harder. There are, however, some coping strategies to help you get through a relationship transition.

1. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Don’t expect to “get over” a break up in one day. Rebuilding yourself after a break up is like rebuilding a city. It takes time. Realize that you need to start with basic building blocks (e.g. Shelter, food, rest) to build a strong foundation.

2. Time heals all wounds. Like the pain suffered in a physical injury, pain from a break up is treatable with proper care. Though you can’t take an advil to heal the pain from a break up, you can take other steps to heal your heart. Take walks. Cook yourself a nice dinner. Relax. Figure out what and who makes you happy to make time pass more pleasantly.

3. If you fail to plan, plan to fail. You must take control of all aspects of your life after a break up. If you had certain rituals with your ex on certain nights, plan something else. If there are certain triggers that will make you sad or reminiscent, avoid them. If you inherit friends (or family) in a break up, control and manage your communications by coming up with buzz phrases to avoid talking about “what it was” or “what it might have been.”

4. Ask and you shall receive. It is important to ask for what you need during a break up period. If you want to spend time with friends, ask them. If you need time alone, ask for it. If you need help from a professional, ask for it.

5. Just do it. You CAN do it. Healing after a broken heart may seem like an insurmountable task but it is not. Just trust in yourself and your support network that you will get through it!

One of our favorite ways to heal a broken heart is through heels.
No, we’re not talking about shoe shopping (though, it is a past time of ours). We’re talking about enlisting your heels and walking!

Walking is a great way to heal a broken heart. Not only is it heart-healthy, but it is a great way to heal the mind through meditation and reflection upon a relationship. It does not (typically)require the endurance running or other “heeling” activities, so it is easy to put on your comfiest shoes and just let your mind and body wander.

Take the time to breathe. Take the time to think. Take the time to reflect. Just take the time for you.

Healing after a break up is not easy. Adopting new rituals and doing things to heal your heart are more important than ever. Using your heels to heal your heart is just one thing that we suggest to help you do that.