The world was over.

I would never love again.

No one could ever love me!

Sound familiar? That’s what I thought after my break up. If life only had a fast forward button to month 3 post break up, I would have avoided a pity party and a lot of heartache.

My break up was bad because it was unexpected. And it was unexpected because it should have been me to end it. I shouldn’t have even dated the douche – I mean dude – in the first place. He was an aspiring actor/playboy/promoter who only cared about his (speculative, at best) career.

So I took it hard when he called it quits (or just stopped calling me).  I tried to piece together what I had done wrong for 3 solid months. I did all the BHR exercises. In that self-discovery (probationary) period, I realize that it was not me. It was him.

Now, that’s pretty profound. I realized he wanted to hang with strippers (not exaggerating). He wanted to spend money on his wardrobe and other, eh hem, hobbies. He wanted to spend time with single guys and girls in cabanas in pools in Vegas. Those things are totally fine, but strippers, poor money management, and blitz-faced boys weekends are not my thing.

Once I realized he was not for me as much as I was not for him, it was like the clouds of heaven opened up.  Great things started happening around me with my job, my friends, and my love life.  Just like clock-work, I met new non-stripper-loving hotties with actual careers right after the probationary period ended.

Moral of the story? Take time after a break up to reflect. It gets better and a good benchmark to assess your progress is the 3 month probationary period.

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• Advice
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• Healing
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• heart break
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• Letting go