When you select a mate, you need to think long and hard about who you pick. You will know in your gut if he or she is “the one” (or at least “the one right now”). If you see red flags that stick out in the beginning, then you need to address those issues right away or they will only come back to haunt you. If your guy is jealous from the start, ladies, the odds are that he will be jealous throughout your relationship. And nine times out of ten, the jealousy will get worse. If your girl is a shop-alcoholic, gentlemen, then odds are she will be spending all of her money and yours, too.

I know at the beginning of a relationship you push aside those ugly things that this hot girl/guy has hidden in their not-so-deep closet. But don’t. These nasty little traits are there as warnings. You need to objectively evaluate them. You need to step back, clear your love-struck head and determine if you can really see yourself dealing with these issues a year down the road. Because I promise you, the traits that this person has will not change. You cannot change a person. Just like the old saying goes, “A leopard does not change his spots.”

Ask yourself what your core beliefs are. What is important to you? What is something you are not willing to compromise on? Things like a guy’s hair color, his build and what kind of car he drives are not things that should figure into your core values. However, religion, whether that person wants a family and their lifestyle choices should be some of the things that you zero in on. These things need to be in line with your values. If they are not, you are just creating a world of hurt for yourself.

One of the many ways to not have your heart broken is to go into a relationship knowing that the two of you have core beliefs and values that are very similar. You want to spend your life with someone that believes the same things you do. You don’t need to agree on everything but you do need to see eye to eye on the big stuff. No one wants to spend their life arguing and angry. Once the honeymoon phase wears off, you will have to deal with these issues. Make sure you have set the ground work for a long-lasting, happy relationship where you are growing together and not apart.

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