Also, take a minute to write things down that you are grateful for. Are you thankful for your health? What about your friends that have stuck by you though everything? When you realize that you have a lot of blessing in your life, you stop hyper-focusing on the sadness you feel. You realize that there is more happiness out there and you deserve to have an abundance of it.
May this new year bring you closure, happiness and love. May the sadness you feel slip away. From Broken Heart Rehab, we wish you the very best year yet in 2014!]]>
After a break up, you may not feel very thankful but you should be! Here are 10 reasons why you should be thankful:
1. You can now find the person you are meant to be with!
2. You can focus on the things you really want and need in your next partner.
3. You have time to spend with the greatest person in the world: You!
4. You can spend time with your friends and family. You probably didn’t have a lot of extra free time during your relationship so now you can spend time with your loved ones.
5. You don’t have to spend every Saturday doing _______. (Fill in the blank with anything that your ex loved doing but you were not thrilled to do, ex. Watching Sports)
6. If you want to spend all of your free time watching Sex and the City reruns- you can! And no one can say anything about it!
7. You get to go on fun dates and meet new people!
8. You are a better person because you have learned more about yourself because of that relationship.
9. You can make your own decisions about everything and you don’t need a second opinion.
10. You get to look forward to an exciting future with a new relationship and new experiences!]]>
After a break up, you may not know where to turn or what to do. The best thing that you can do is to lean on your friends and family. These are the people that you can count on after a break up. It’s amazing that after any kind of major catastrophe, your friends and family will stick by you. This is the time to strengthen your bonds with the people who love you the most. You learn to value your friendships and you realize how close you and your family truly are.
Sometimes you may be worried about what your friends and family will think about the break up, but don’t be. These people love you and will not judge you. No matter what happened in the break up, don’t worry about your friends or family criticizing you. Remember all of the times that you have been there for your loved ones. People like to feel like they are needed, so let them know how they can help you.
If for some reason, you don’t feel like your family will be there for you, lean on your friends. Everyone has different circumstances in their life and sometimes your family unit is not what you had hoped and wished for. If this is the case, then your friends are the people that you should look to for guidance, love and understanding. You have, no doubt, been there for your friends in their time of need. Now do yourself, and them, a favor by letting them repay the kindness.
This is a time when you find out who your true friends are in life. A lot of people will step up to the plate and be there for you when you need them the most. You may be surprised at a few friends who take a step back or seem to be MIA. If this is the case, be glad that you discovered that these are not the people you thought they were, and that you found out now, instead of later.
You will find that during times of tragedy, your friends and family will stand up and help you get over the pain and agony that you are going through. It will strengthen bonds between you and your friends and family for the rest your life. If there’s one thing you will learn during this sad time, it is that goodness always shows up, sometimes in the darkest places.]]>
1. Reevaluate – Reevaluate what you are looking for in a partner. Take a look at your past relationships and decide what you want and what you don’t want in your next mate.
2. Process- Take some down time to let your body heal and feel the pain, sadness and/or anger that you are feeling. These feelings are natural and you need to process all of these emotions.
3. Decompress- Let your mind and body heal. Take some time just to relax and let yourself get over the feelings that are completely natural that you are having after a break up.
4. Sleep- you will need to get plenty of rest. When you are upset and sad, if you have not slept, these emotions become exaggerated. You will feel down, but not getting enough sleep is just going to make it so much worse.
5. Get out of your house- After a break up you need to get out of your house and get out into the world. Being cooped up in your house will only make you more depressed and force you to continue to focus on the break up instead of focusing on life around you.
6. Exercise – After a break up it is very healthy and necessary to find some sort of exercise to do. Exercising helps you to release endorphins which will make you feel better. Find any type of exercise to do. Whether you like jogging, weightlifting, walking, swimming or riding a bike, any of these exercises will do. Just do something and start moving.
7. Eat healthy – Although you may want to reach for the worst junk food after a break up, try to steer yourself in a healthy direction and make healthy food choices. Your body and your waistline will thank you for it. You can always go for a couple scoops of ice cream, just don’t eat the whole gallon.
8. Call your friends – This is the time to reach out to your friends and let them know that you need their support and ask them to lend an ear. Let them know that you are upset and will need to lean on them for a while until you are eventually feeling better.
9. Seek support – Whether you reach out to a psychologist or to Broken Heart Rehab, seeking the help of a professional or a coach may be an option that you want to explore.
10. Stay positive – Although after a breakup is very easy to slip into a negative frame of mind, do yourself a favor and try and stay as positive as possible. Many people after a break up find their Mr. or Mrs. Right and realized that the breakup was exactly what they needed in order to find the person they were meant to be with in the long run.]]>
After a break up you may find yourself reaching for a libation. You may find yourself reaching for a couple. And you may even find yourself drinking a small pond’s worth. We understand if you have a few drinks after a bad break up but you have to be careful. Drowning your sorrows will only lead to more sorrows in the morning. After a night of heavy drinking, you can have headaches, feel bloated and sometimes you can be extremely sick. Add all of this to a broken heart and you have a recipe for disaster.
Alcohol is a depressant. After drinking, you may feel more upset than before you had a couple of drinks. Who wants to feel worse about their break up? The goal is to start feeling better-not worse. While alcohol seems like a good idea at first, just be careful not to overdo it and make sure it does not become your crutch.
One of the hot new trends is juicing. It may not sound as much fun as having a couple of drinks but your body will thank you for it. By drinking something good for you, you are letting your body know that this is a new healthy you. You are ready to get rid of all of the old garbage in your mind, body and space. You are going to put yourself first. Why not invite your friends over and have a juicing fest!
We are all for going out with your friends and having a good time. This is the time to get out of your house and to try to enjoy your new single life. That will probably include a drink or two, just do it responsibly. Remember not to over indulge and to always call a cab or have a designated driver if you are going to even have one drink.]]>
After a relationship is over you are usually left with a lot of questions. Could I have done something different? Were there any signs? Did he ever love me? But the question a lot of people ask is why did my ex leave me?
Looking back at your relationship after a break up is the best thing that we can recommend to you. You will learn so much about yourself if you examine your relationship as a whole. At some point, you should sit quietly by yourself and examine what happened in your relationship that led to its demise. What role did you contribute to the relationship ending? This is not to make you feel worse. We are not asking you to assign blame to you or to your ex. Instead, try to look at it from an outsider’s point of view. Even if we never want to admit it, we each play some part in a relationship ending. Even if you are only responsible for 5% of the end, the best thing you can do is to take responsibility for that 5%. You can definitely assign the rest of the responsibility to your ex. But do it in a constructive way.
What things can you change about yourself, not to get your ex back, but to make you a better person for the next relationship? Did you constantly nag him about where he has been? Do you have a short temper? Are there underlying issues that you need to deal with before you enter into another relationship? If you can look to learn something from your relationship that will make you a better partner in the next relationship, then you will continue to grow as a human being.
So what is the answer to why your ex left you? Sometimes it is a clear cut and you know right away the reason why. Maybe you cheated and your ex left. Or maybe you two had the same fights over and over and he was just done going around in circles. Maybe you had different values. And then, sometimes, you will never know. There are break ups that truly do come out of the blue and your ex does not give you any explanation. When this happens, and after you have looked back to examine your relationship, you have to find peace with the unknown. You may never know the real reason why your ex broke up with you. But there is a very good possibility that you ex did you a big favor. Anyone that does not appreciate being with you and leaves is helping you to move on and to find the right person.
You want to be with a person that loves you and wants to be with you. If someone has chosen to leave you and move in a different direction, kiss them goodbye (figuratively) and start to move on with your life. Look at any areas that you can fix in your own life. And then be glad that you are free to find Mr. or Mrs. Right. Now get out there and start looking!]]>
When you have gone through a break up and you decide that nothing will soothe your aching heart like food, which wonderful tasting delicacy comes to mind? Well, we have put together the top 10 foods that we know people are craving after a break up. Some people will crave sweet, some will crave salty. Anything that will make you feel better-in moderation-is just fine with us. Again, remember eating a couple of cookies after a break up is just fine but eating a whole package is not ok. That will only lead to you feeling terrible about yourself and give you a nasty tummy ache. So enjoy, but in small quantities. Here are the top 10 break up foods:
1. Ice Cream- This is an age-old food that makes you feel happy and comforted even after a very sad event. Just remember not to eat the whole carton. Maybe add a little whipped cream and a cherry to brighten your day.
2. Cookies- Yummy! Anything from Oreos to homemade chocolate chip cookies will put a smile on your face and satisfy your sweet tooth.
3. Chips-When you want something salty, chips will hit the spot! Our recommendation is to go for the baked chips because they are better for you. But if you must indulge in the real thing, grab a small single size bag from your local store. This way you won’t be tempted to keep going back for more.
4. Fruits- This may not be the first thing you think of to cure your broken heart but it should be. Fruits have lots of antioxidants in them that will take care of you while you are down in the dumps. It you want to liven it up a little, add some shaved chocolate or sprinkle fruit with powdered sugar!
5. Fast Food-This is usually what you live on the first few days after a break up. It is quick, convenient and you don’t have to cook. The downside of fast food is that it can leave you bloated from all of the salt and you may fill void of real food. The fix to this is to order as healthy as you can from your favorite fast food places so that you don’t have the dreaded fast food hang over the next day.
6. Pasta- You don’t have to be Italian to love pasta! It is a comfort food that has stood the test of time. It reminds people of family gatherings and happiness. This can be a healthy choice if you add some veggies and watch your portion size.
7. Cereal- Believe it or not, after a break up a lot of people live on cereal. We think that eating cereal is fine, as long as you don’t do it for an extended period of time, and that you eat a high-quality, nutritious cereal. The cereals of our childhood are delicious, but the sugar in them can be too much if eaten in excess.
8. Chocolate- Yes, most break ups scream the need to eat chocolate. We agree, this can be a good choice. But do yourself a favor, if you are eating chocolate make it dark chocolate and eat only a few squares at a time. If you devour the whole bar, you’ll miss out on savoring the full delicious experience.
9. Pizza- Being able to lie on the coach and order a yummy, hot pizza that is delivered to your doorstep makes so much sense after a break up. Just follow a couple of our tips. Only eat a couple of slices and save the rest for another meal. Ask them to go light on the cheese. Load up on the veggies. And order the thin crust.
10. Chinese Food- Chinese food can be a great choice after a break up depending on what you order. Go for steamed versus fried. Get the brown rice not the white. Ask them to pile on the veggies. And order light on the sauce or have them put it on the side.]]>
So you are going through a break up, now what? What should you be doing? You may want to cry and scream and to be angry-that’s ok. But once you have done that for a while, what should you do next? Stay in the dark pit of misery that you have crawled up in? No way! You need to stay busy.
Keeping busy while getting over your ex is the very best thing that you can do for yourself. You need to get your mind on other things. Explore things that make you happy! Have you been wanting to try the latest exercise craze? Have you been eyeing a Groupon that’s for discounted trapeze lessons? What about volunteering at a local pet shelter? Or just getting more involved in some of the activities that you are currently doing.
Whatever it is that intrigues you or makes you joyful, get out and do it! The time is now. Don’t wait. You have extra free time now that you did not have with your ex before you broke up. It is time to take advantage of doing the things that make YOU smile!
Make a list of 5 things that make you happy and you would like to start doing. They can be anything. Try hula hooping again or learn to bake cakes. The activity itself does not matter. You’ll start to notice that the more time you spend doing something that you enjoy, the less time you will spend thinking about you ex.
The goal after a break up is to find happiness again. The way to do that is to search deep within yourself to find what really makes you happy and to go out and do it. You never know where that may lead. You may become a professional baker or you decide to run off with the circus. Whatever happens, if you are focused on things that make you feel better, one day you will wake up and realize that you do, in fact, feel better.]]>
If you’re reading this blog, you’re probably in need of advice to get you through this hard time. You’re tired of people telling you things will "be okay" and other overused expressions of sympathy.
We are not going to tell you that because things ARE going to be difficult as you get through this time. In fact, times may even suck.
So is there hope at the end of the tunnel? Of course. That’s what we are here to tell you. A break up can be the most positive thing of your life. That’s right, positive. It leaves your heart as an open door to new love that deserves your attention. And through that open door, other new people, experiences and opportunities will come, whether professional or personal.
In fact, it’s as simple as science. Your time will free up. You will no longer be investing in a fledgling relationship. And you will have more time.
Is that hard to believe? Yes.
Will it seem like everyday is an upward climb? Yes.
What you have to remember however, is that things will be okay…eventually. And, when one door closes, another opens.
So, you have been single for a while… A "while" may be two weeks or two years, but whatever the case, you feel ready to get back on the dating scene.
Most of us have a type. This is normal, and ok. It probably feels comfortable as you get back out there to date the kind of person you usually do. But how about mixing it up for once?
If you usually go for the all business, type A personality type, why not go for an artsy, unique type? Or vice versa. Even people from different backgrounds and cultures would be very exciting. The key here is to step outside of your element and test new waters. Not only will you learn new things, but you may also realize that you enjoy these new things! As well, your new dates will have a lot to learn from you!
Remember, dating should be fun, and testing new waters will lead you to higher grounds.