So, you have been single for a while… A "while" may be two weeks or two years, but whatever the case, you feel ready to get back on the dating scene.

Most of us have a type. This is normal, and ok. It probably feels comfortable as you get back out there to date the kind of person you usually do. But how about mixing it up for once?

If you usually go for the all business, type A personality type, why not go for an artsy, unique type? Or vice versa. Even people from different backgrounds and cultures would be very exciting. The key here is to step outside of your element and test new waters. Not only will you learn new things, but you may also realize that you enjoy these new things! As well, your new dates will have a lot to learn from you!

Remember, dating should be fun, and testing new waters will lead you to higher grounds.

When you experience any type of heartache it is completely normal to cry. You need to get your emotions out. We know that it is not pleasant to feel pain and sadness but you are human and unfortunately, it is all part of the human experience. It is normal to cry. It is normal to be sad. It is normal to feel pain.

The only thing we ask is that while being sad and feeling the pain that you know that this too shall pass. We know it is a cliché, but it is so true. Hang in there and it will get better. At the time you are going through heartbreak, it feels as if grief will overwhelm you, but it won’t. You will be happy again. You will laugh again. Just have faith that you can get over this hurdle.

We have found that we have learned so much about ourselves through breakups. We are the women that we are today because of the relationships that we had in the past. We are much better partners to our significant others because we have learned so much from our exs. And we have much better partners because we chose not (or it was chosen for us) to end up with our exs.

It is so much easier on this side of the fence. Here’s another cliché that we love…Hindsight is 20/20. Oh, how true that is. We can look back and even laugh at our heartbreak. Although, at the time it felt terrible it led us to the people we are in relationships with now. And that is a GREAT thing!

We want to give you reassurance that the person you are meant to be with is out there and this breakup will help you to find your better half. So cry, be sad, feel the pain but know that this is going to end up being a really good beginning to your next chapter.

Sometimes you get a gut feeling that something is just not right with your man. What should you do? Listen to your gut! You are usually right on the mark. If there is something “off” about what he is telling you then chances are, he is not being honest. Trust your gut and do a little recon. We don’t suggest you stalk him or put a trace on his phone calls but just be on your toes. If he is a player, he will show his true colors.

Have you ever been in a relationship where you just knew that the other person was full of s*it. And then later on you discovered that you were right. Well, what you were experiencing is your little voice of reason inside your body shouting out that something is just not right. How great would it be if you always trusted yourself!

Now, there are those of us that are worry-warts and please know that that is a different feeling. You have to start to listen intently to your inner voice and you will be able to tell if you are worrying over nothing or if something is truly wrong. It can be hard to tell the difference but start to try.

Players think they are devious and can pull the wool over your eyes but they are wrong. You will know when a man is “playing” you. You just have to listen to your gut for the answer. Trust yourself first, before you ever trust anyone else. You always hold the keys to the truth. Now go out there and use them!

It is our instinct to want to know why we get tossed aside. If you think about it, the pain from a break up really isn’t so much about longing for the other person, it is about the unanswered question as to why that person no longer wants to be with you! You, and your ego, want some answers.

BHR is asking you not to spend your time and energy obsessing, dissecting, and worrying over a situation that no longer serves you. If you had the strength to let go of all of the questions, and just look forward to your new future, your healing process would turn into Godspeed!

If you are meant to know all the answers, they will present themselves at the right time. So, challenge yourself, and look forward to brighter days ahead. Who knows? By the time you get your answers, you may no longer care what they are.

I would never love again.

No one could ever love me!

Sound familiar? That’s what I thought after my break up. If life only had a fast forward button to month 3 post break up, I would have avoided a pity party and a lot of heartache.

My break up was bad because it was unexpected. And it was unexpected because it should have been me to end it. I shouldn’t have even dated the douche – I mean dude – in the first place. He was an aspiring actor/playboy/promoter who only cared about his (speculative, at best) career.

So I took it hard when he called it quits (or just stopped calling me).  I tried to piece together what I had done wrong for 3 solid months. I did all the BHR exercises. In that self-discovery (probationary) period, I realize that it was not me. It was him.

Now, that’s pretty profound. I realized he wanted to hang with strippers (not exaggerating). He wanted to spend money on his wardrobe and other, eh hem, hobbies. He wanted to spend time with single guys and girls in cabanas in pools in Vegas. Those things are totally fine, but strippers, poor money management, and blitz-faced boys weekends are not my thing.

Once I realized he was not for me as much as I was not for him, it was like the clouds of heaven opened up.  Great things started happening around me with my job, my friends, and my love life.  Just like clock-work, I met new non-stripper-loving hotties with actual careers right after the probationary period ended.

Moral of the story? Take time after a break up to reflect. It gets better and a good benchmark to assess your progress is the 3 month probationary period.

Ok, you have tried all types of things to ease your break up blues. You have had countless talks with your friends over your ex, gotten massages, had long walks on the beach, etc… But have you tried listening to upbeat music?

Studies have shown that one of the best mood lifters is music. But beware of the tunes that you play. Somber, slow ballads, or dramatic songs can pull you deeper into the hole of depression. But throw on some fun dance music, enticing salsa, or even authentic world beat music, and your feelings will dramatically lift.

Music is one of the most positive therapies that exist. While you are cleaning the house, running errands, or just hanging out, playing these pumping tunes will speed your road to recovery.  As well, if you find relief in mediation or relaxing, throw on some soothing electronica or new age to calm the soul.

Who knew therapy was so accessible? And remember to explore your horizons. Fresh new songs will pull you out of your past and have you dancing into your future!

We are not underscoring the pain of a breakup. It’s tough. Days crying. Lot’s of questions.  Self-Doubt.  And emotions that run the gamut of sadness. 

But, once you look past the trees into the proverbial forest, you will see that you can learn a lot from a break up, all of which will benefit you in future relationships to come.  Here are some tips to make that break up a break-thru event in your life:

1.    Dissect why the relationship didn’t work.  This is not a blame game. Your list should focus on general things that contributed to the break up.  Thing general categories here, such as "Distance" or "Communications."  From this list, identify what you value.  If the distance was hard, make sure you only date people that live close to you.  If the communications were off, work on your own communications and identify partners who exhibit the skills and traits of great communicators.

2.    Be in ICU.  Treat yourself like you’re in intensive care after a break up. Nurture yourself. Learn about  yourself.  Get therapy, personal training, or other professional help. Be coachable and help yourself recover. You’ll have more clarity after!

3.    Get an ego boost. You may think it is unthinkable to go out on dates after going through a break up. On the contrary, go on AS MANY DATES AS YOU CAN. Go out with the blonde bookworm from Starbucks.  Take your workmate up on the drinks offer.   Ask that tan hottie from the gym to drinks. Going on dates will not only help you forget about your ex, but it will help you get an ego boost from someone who is genuinely interested in you!

If you do these three things, we guarantee your break up will be a break-thru! You will learn about yourself, your past relationship, and will get a couple compliments in the process.

And when someone asks you how you’re doing post-break up, tell them it was a break-thru!

A big stress relief is exercise. Most people know this, but do they practice it? Getting your heart rate up releases natural endorphins. Those are your body’s "feel good" factors. Also, the earlier in the day that you exercise, the better. Your endorphins will continue to release throughout the rest of your day, until you go to sleep.

Another great natural remedy is St. Johns Wort. This herb is nature’s Prozac! In fact, studies have shown that St. Johns Wort has helped just as well, if not better, than Prozac in relieving the blues and depression. If taken as directed and regularly, St. Johns Wort could be a huge help to your emotional recovery.

Also, plenty of sleep and water is essential. Make your goal of at

least eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. Also, eight glasses of water will flush you out. Squeeze half a lemon in each glass, because lemon is a natural detox and anti-oxidant. This will help you feel refreshed, calm, and clean.

So, get your zzz’s, wash down your herbs with lemon water, and get your heart pumping for at least half an hour a day. You will be amazed at the new person you will become.

A break up can feel like the worst thing that has ever happened to you. It can feel like someone has literally crushed your heart, stomped on your body and sucked all of the happiness out of life. It takes time to grieve your loss and to move on to the next chapter in your life. Getting over a break up will not happen overnight. Unfortunately, there are no magic pills. But there are things you can do to ease the pain. Here are a few things that can help to get you over the initial pain and make the transition a bit easier:

-Let yourself grieve. Get it all out. Cry, scream, and be angry. But don’t stay here too long. Listen to your heart and know when you need to start taking steps to move past the pain.

-Talk it out. Talk to your friends, family, ministers, counselors and/or therapists. Anyone that will listen to you and let you vent, use them to get all of your sadness out. That is what they are there for– to help when you need it. And you need it now.

-Get out of the house. At the beginning, all you want to do is to stay inside. That is fine for a week. But after that, get out. Hang out with your friends. Do things that make you happy. Try to do things that you enjoy, but your ex didn’t. This is your time to find yourself again.

-Exercise. Get moving. It will make you feel better and look better. And don’t we all want to look great if we ever run into an ex on the street!

-Make a list of things you want in a partner. Figure out what you want in a life long partner. What are you looking for? What are you not looking for? What are some traits that your ex had that you do not want in a future relationship?

-Reach out for professional help. When you feel like you need more than just a person to listen, reach out for help. Whether that be from us here at Broken Heart Rehab, a trained therapist or any other professional, don’t be afraid to look to someone that deals with relationships ending. They are trained to help you navigate through this period and to get you back on your feet and ready to open your heart up again.

A break up can feel like the worst thing that has ever happened. But you’ll be surprised to find out that when one door closes, another opens. And the next door could lead to the relationship that you have always dreamed of. Hang in there and know that with time, it will get better.

If you are interested in a phone session with Broken Heart Rehab, please email us at info@brokenheartrehab.com.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m with a player. How did you end up here? He seemed like such a nice guy at the beginning. Or was he? He was nice when he called. He was nice when he showed up. He was nice when he remembered your name! Eek!

You never thought you would end up with a player. You are a smart girl with goals. You’ve seen your friends with those guys. You never thought you would be one of those girls, until you were that girl.

We have all been there. Once I dated a guy that borrowed his girlfriend’s car to take me out on a date but I didn’t find out until much later! Ouch! How did I end up there? I’ll tell you how. I missed all of the signs.

Here are some signs to look for:

-He always has excuses. Excuses as to why he couldn’t be somewhere. Excuses for why he was late. Excuses for why he didn’t call. Excuses for why there were pieces of paper with girls’ names and numbers on them.

-He is a smooth talker. Not only did he have excuses but he could say anything so sweetly that you would believe the sky was purple, if he said it was purple.

-He won’t act affectionate in public. He didn’t want anyone to know you were together but used the excuse that he didn’t like PDA. You don’t need a public make-out session that parents with small children would complain about, but you do need your hand held once in awhile.

-He has shaky alibis. He said he was one place but his buddy slips and mentions that your man had been somewhere else.

-He never wants to make firm plans. When you ask him to do something, he always says, “Yeah, that sounds good. We’ll see.” But he never commits to being somewhere until the day of or hours before a date.

-He loves to say he’s a ladies man. He likes to brag to anyone that will listen that women love him. Which really means, he loves the ladies, and not just one.

-He never gives real gifts. All of his gifts look like last minute items that he picked up at 7-11 on his way to see you. You can tell that there is no thought or reasoning behind them. You know that this was not a well-thought out purchase, but a last minute scramble to find something that was “suitable”.

-He has secret conversations. DING, DING, DING! Red flag!! He says that he is talking to his “friends” but he always has to take it outside or in another room away from you.

-People are telling you that he is being unfaithful. Most of the time, if someone is going to put their neck on the line to tell you that your guy is cheating, he probably is.

-You have a bad feeling in your gut. If you have a bad feeling, there probably is some logical reasoning behind it. We have intuition for a reason. It is there to tell us to watch out for danger. So listen to yourself and follow your instinct.

The bottom line is that there are always going to be signs. Players will give off signs and usually more than one. Unless you want your heart broken, stay away. You will not change him. We repeat, YOU WILL NOT CHANGE HIM! And why waste your precious time trying to change someone? There are so many good guys out there. Use your time wisely to find a good guy and then you won’t have to worry about Celine Dion cds and jasmine body lotion is his car. Trust us, good advice!