Broken Heart Rehab

Don’t cry over spilled milk girls.  Go out and have a cocktail.  Have two.  Just have a designated driver with you (always thinking of your safety).  Don’t throw yourself a pity party.  Throw yourself a PAR-TAY!  That’s right.  If you have gone through a break up then you deserve to celebrate.  You ask, “What BHR fabulous girls are you talking about? I want to cry and stay in bed all day long!”  Exactly why you need to get up, take a shower and get out of your house and celebrate.  Celebrate being single.  Celebrate all of the new guys you are going to attract (and for our lovely male readers, all of the girls you will attract).  Celebrate that you are no longer with a guy that doesn’t appreciate your awesome-ness (and I know you have lots of awesome-ness to give).  Celebrate being you!

Look we all have one shot at this thing called life.  You could waste a day being upset over some loser that doesn’t know what a good thing he is giving up on.  Or you can get out there, get back on the horse and ride into the sunset with Mr. Right (I couldn’t resist).  There is a good guy (or gal) out there for each of us.  We have to value ourselves enough to not settle for someone treating us like dirt and wasting our time (sorry, I’m on my own rant right now).  You need to believe that your soul mate is out there.  He wants to find you, just as bad as you want to find him.  Are you with me on this one!  Say, Go Team!!

So what have we learned from this ever informative post?  Drink!  Yippee!  Well, drink but in moderation because hangovers are not fun especially when you go overboard.  Ok, what is the more important lesson for today…Don’t stay with a jerk that doesn’t want to be with you.  Life is too short.  Find someone you want to be with and who wants to be with you.  He’s out there.  I know it.  Good luck, and let me know how it goes!!!

One of the toughest things about a break up is breaking the habit. By "the habit", I mean the routines and rituals that are created in a relationship. For example, every Thursday night my ex and I would watch our favorite shows together. Once the relationship bit the dust, Thursdays really sucked. It was one of the many reminders of what we once had and did together.

For a few weeks, I would sulk on Thursdays. I would even watch our shows and cry. But all that did was slow my healing process down. It wasn’t easy, but I created a new ritual for that night. Now, that is my night out with my girlfriends. It took some time, but what was once a painful day became a day I looked forward to.

What old habits are you hanging onto? Even more, do you still partake in them solo for the mere painful reminder? If so, I suggest you replace your old habits with your ex with new ones that are just for you. Do you want even more of a challenge? Then change it to something so different, you won’t even have a trace of your ex in it.

For example, was Monday night "movie night" from your past? Then now it is "bowling night", or "sushi rolling night". Don’t do anything that reminds you of your ex. You actually will start to enjoy your new routine that is custom made for the fabulous new you!

Feeling lonely? Confused? If you have a broken heart, than you probably do. It is ok to feel sad and lost during this time. More than likely you are feeling vulnerable as well.

I know that when I feel this way, there is something I always tend to do. Call the ex. And I don’t mean my recent ex. I am talking about the ex ex! The one from before your last relationship.  Why do I do this? It is not because I want to get back together with them.  It is more like I feel “safe.”  This person already knows me and probably has some feelings. The bottom line? My ego needs a stroking! 

If your ex ex is not in a new relationship and you are up front with your intention (not get back together), than this can be harmless an actually a nice distraction for awhile. But if he or she has moved on, trotting on that territory is not cool and can lead to trouble. 

My advice? If you want some comfort from the ex ex, make sure you are in the same boat with each other. Otherwise, you are bound to paddle backwards.

Nothing is worst than going into a new relationship with the emotional scars of a past breakup on your mind. They can weigh heavy on one’s mind, and even create friction in a new relationship where there should otherwise be none.

Our recommendation to you is "be kind, please rewind."

Here is what we mean…

Before entering into a new relationship, "rewind" your mind to the place you were before times got tough in your past relationship.

Let go of fear, and open your heart to the prospect of connecting with someone new. It is also important to let go of assumptions. In fact, the only assumption that you should make is that your current significant other is not like your ex. Remember that all people handle issues differently, and just because your ex behaved one way does not mean that every person will act in the same manner.

So, next time you find yourself building emotional walls or making assumptions about one’s behavior based your ex, hit stop and rewind. It’s the kind (and fair) thing to do!

2009 showed that even celebrities are not immune to a broken heart. Here are the top ten celebrity breakups of 2009:

1. Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins So sad. Can’t believe this long standing power couple split.
2. Robyn and Mel Gibson Thought these two would last. She put up with lots of his crap and still stayed. I’m sure their attorneys made out like bandits during this divorce.
3. Rosie O’ Donnell and Kelli Carpenter These two seemed to be a very happy couple. Proves that you never know what goes on behind closed doors.
4. James Van Der Beek and Heather McComb We here at BHR love us some Dawson. But I guess Heather decided that Dawson should have ended up with Joey, not her.
5. Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley These two young rockers were very cute together. Unfortunately, their puppy love did not last.
6. Billy Joel and Katie Lee These two were the couple that wanted to prove that a dramatic age difference does not matter. Only they know what ultimately ended their relationship, but we know that Billy Joel will be Movin’ Out.
7. LeAnn Rimes and Dean Sheremet Amidst allegations that LeAnn was seeing Eddie Cibrian, these two finally called it quits. Dean filed for divorce. Our heart goes out to Dean.
8. Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman These two comics called it off after 5 long years of being together. We were hoping for a little comic-genius offspring but alas, no such luck.
9. Chris Evert and Greg Norman The two famous athletes (her-tennis and him-golf) decided that 15 months was long enough to be married and separated. Chris will have to find a new doubles partner.
10. Kate and John Gosselin ‘Nuff said

We here at Broken Heart Rehab wanted to wish all of you a very safe and Happy New Years Eve.  We know you are currently living with a broken heart but our wish to each of you is that 2010 brings you peace and much happiness.  Hang in there and as always, we are here to help.  Contact us if you are in need of anything.

We at Broken Heart Rehab wanted to wish all of our readers a very Merry Christmas!  We hope that Santa brings you a happy, healthy day and remainder of the year.  Along with lots of Christmas cheer.  Know that we are thinking about each and every one of you.  Please reach out if you ever need us.  Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

We at Broken Heart Rehab have broken hearts today as we mourn the untimely death of actress, Brittany Murphy.  We extend our heartfelt sympathy to Brittany’s family and loved ones. 

Making the decision to break up is a big one, and one that requires a lot of consideration. Keep in mind, however, that not all roads lead to a break up. There are times when a make-up is better than a break up. In trying to figure out whether you want to make (or break) the relationship, ask yourself the following:

•Can you forgive the person for what happened?
•Are you and your significant other willing to meet halfway to try to work on overcoming the recent relationship challenge?
•Do you honestly believe that you can move past and accept (without resentment) what happened between you and your significant other?

Remember that one of the benefits of being in a relationship with another person is to feel happy and grow.  If you can’t answer yes to either of the questions above, happiness and growth may me a problem.

If you answered no to any of the questions above, you should spend some time deciding and discussing with your significant other what’s in each of your respective best interests to make up or break up.

Going through a break up can take it’s toll. You may find yourself
obsessing over details, losing sleep, and just trying to figure "it
all out". This can really bring you down. Here are some tips to take care of your emotional self:

•spend time with others whose company you enjoy
•stay in contact with important people in your life
•treat yourself kindly
•feel proud if yourself
•reread favorite books, review favorite movies
•allow yourself to cry
•find things that make you laugh
•express your outrage constructively
•spend time with your pets and children

Taking care of your emotional self is only one step in healing, but an important one to take.

I know after a breakup you just want to stay inside of your apartment in your bed watching Days of Our Lives. Although I love me some Days, this is only healthy for a short time. You cannot get yourself fired over a breakup. It is so not worth it. You need to get out. You need to see that the sun still rises everyday. The world did not stop even though it does feel like that in your heart.

You need to work. Not just for the financial aspects but for the mental ones, too. It forces you to get out of the house and be around others. Although this do not sound appealing at all right now, it is so important. Human interaction is crucial at this time. Notice I say human because your dog does not count. Fido might be great to help you through but you need others. You need to talk to others.

Now this brings up a sticky situation. You should not be in your office spending countless hours talking to your co-workers or, God forbid, your boss about your breakup. You can let them know that you have broken up with your significant other and you are having a hard time but you will do your best to leave it outside of the office. This is professional and it will let them know that you may not be 100% but you are going to try to put it aside for the 8 hours you are in your place of work. And honestly, during a breakup, how great is it to have 8 hours of any distraction.  Pretty good, right.  Eight less hours that you will not be just wallowing in self-pity. 

Right now work is good for you.  Get out there, be productive and who knows, you might just find Mr. or Ms. Right in the elevator, on the subway, at Starbucks, or even on the way to your job!

We know it’s hard to get back on the dating scene after taking a hiatus! A million questions run through your mind: Will he or she like me? Do I look desperate? What do I say?  Those questions can be debilitating for someone who is ready to get on the scene but suffers from trepidation! We’ve put together some simple, quick "pick-up" strategies to help you get out of a slump.

Setting: Gym

1. Bad: stare longingly at that gym hottie from afar
2. Good: Ask her or him to spot you, or if they’ve ever taken a class
3. Awesome: Ask to spot her or him, or to join you for a class

Setting: Barnes and Noble or some other book store

1. Bad:  Avoid eye contact at all costs.
2. Good:  Ask the cutie about the book she or he is reading
3. Awesome: Grab the same book, and tell her or him that they have excellent taste

Setting: Bar/Restaurant

1. Bad: Hide out in the corner with your friends
2. Good: send her or him a drink
3. Awesome: send her or him an appetizer to share with friends

A girlfriend of mine recently told me that she broke up with her boyfriend because he had anger issues. Thank goodness! I am thrilled she had enough common sense to know that when you are with someone that has anger issues it does not get better. Now can a person change? Absolutely. But you don’t need to be the guinea pig and stick around to find out if that will ever be a possibility. And just like the old saying goes, “A leopard never his spots.” That is a tough pill to swallow.

Do you need to find out why the person is angry? No. If you do not have children with this man, run. Get out of dodge. If you do have children, go to counseling, immediately. Anger is probably one of the worst characteristics of a potential life-mate. Anger manifests itself so many different ways. It can make you sick, emotionally and physically. It can, and usually does, make you angry, scared and sad. And last, but certainly not least, it can be very dangerous and even life threatening.

We are obviously not talking about the once in awhile “I’m pissed at the world so I’m in a bad mood for a day” type of normal person. We are talking about someone with deep-seated rage. And you know in your gut which type of guy you are with. Stick to your instincts. Step out of the situation and imagine if one of your friends was dating a guy with the same rage that your partner has. What would you tell her? Listen to your own advice. And always, if you feel you can not get out of a bad situation, call for help. Call a friend, a family member, a women’s shelter or the police. Get out sooner rather than later. There are lots of great guys out there that know how to appropriately express their emotions.

It is common after a break-up to have a mixture of emotions. Depression can easily creep into your life. One of the things that can be neglected is your physical self. If you feel this relates to you, here are some coping strategies to loving your body!

• 1.  Eat regularly (breakfast, lunch, and dinner)
• 2.  Eat healthfully
• 3.  Exercise and lift weights
• 4.  Play sports
• 5.  Get medical care for prevention
• 6.  Take time off when your sick
• 7.  Get a massage or other body work
• 8.  Do physical activity that is fun
• 9.  Get enough sleep
• 10.  Wear clothes you like
• 11.  Take vacations or day trips
• 12.  Get away from stressful technology such as phones, computers, faxes, pagers

Doing these simple things will make a huge difference in your physical well being. Remember, loving yourself is the best kind of love.

It is easy to wallow in sorrow with a broken heart. It can feel nice to lay around, cry, and react to your new and unwelcomed singlehood. And that is ok, for a short time. But too much self pity leads to self destruction, and the only person you are hurting is yourself (not your ex).

One of the best ways to liberate yourself from the depths of despair is through exercise. It is ok to take baby steps, especially if it has been some time since you have had a workout. Joining a gym has many benefits beyond toning your fabulous single body. It is a great way to meet new people, join classes (aka be active in the outside
world again), and improves mental health.

Starting with thirty minutes of moderate cardio three times a week is a perfect start. Walking on the treadmill, yoga, or even rowing are good ways to bring new movement to your body. After feeling confident with these exercises, add fifteen minutes of light weight training to the end of your cardio session. This is a complete physical and mental boost, improving not only your psyche (hello new hot body!) but will elevate self esteem and mental clarity.

Daily supplements like vitamin D, Omega 3’s, and herbs like St. John’s Wort can add to your mental health, elevating mood and motivation. If a gym membership is out of your budget, neighborhood walks, bike rides, and longs runs are just as beneficial. It is time to love yourself and your life. Taking care of your body is a sure ticket to experiencing the beautiful new you.

**Please consult with your physician prior to taking any vitamins or supplements.

After a break up, it’s hard to navigate the murky waters of dating. Here is your guide to navigating the city as a single girl. You just might meet some interesting people (read: hot men) along the way.

1.    Look Hot

Yeah, we know, your Uggs, oversized college sweatshirt, and Old Navy plaid pjs are comfort clothes. While they may be comfy, they certainly do not show off your assets! You should always take pride in your appearance, not only for you, but, for yourself. We’re not saying you should be red carpet ready at all times, but a little mascara, and some pants that actually flatter you may just get you noticed next time you’re out.

2.    Plan

There’s an old adage that says, “if you fail to plan, plan to fail.” The same holds true in your dating and social life. If you simply sit around and wait for someone else plan your social calendar, there is a high probability that you will be sitting at home next Friday. Gone are the days of high school and college where we had homecomings, football games, frat parties, and extracurricular activities to look forward to. Now it’s your turn to make your social calendar! Plan a dinner party (think theme: find a mister for your sister), or invite the ladies to happy hour.

3.    Get a Hobby

One of the greatest things about breaking up with someone is that you actually have free time to take care of yourself and do things that you want to do. Take advantage of your newly-found freedom by developing a hobby. This is not only a great way to enrich yourself, but it’s a great way to meet people and have great conversation on all those hot dates you are inevitably bound to have. Having a cool hobby makes you happy, interesting, and confident. Think about it – while a guy certainly shares your love for the gym, eating and sleeping, it would be much more interesting to tell him about that dance class you take (sexy) or your recent trip to some exotic land.

4.    Love a part of your body

This may sound silly, but loving a part of your body is your time to celebrate you. For instance, if you have nice feet, get regular pedicures. It you have a nice butt, do some extra squats. This somewhat goes along with our “Look Hot” advice, but it goes deeper because it’s about nurturing yourself.

5.    Pets

People (and particularly men) love animals. Go to that Sunday pet adoption, or even better, adopt a pet at that adoption. Not only will you automatically have a furry little companion, but Spike will surely bring the boys to the yard. If you don’t have time for pet adoption, make conversation with guys who walk their dogs – these are the friendliest of all men! Trust us J

6.    Conversation or college tees

Much like approaching a person with a dog, it’s easier to approach someone wearing a shirt that screams something. We caution you against conversation tees that say “Golddigger” or “Daddy’s girl.” That’s a little 1994. But go down to the trendiest boutique and buy a cute conversational tee. College tees are also awesome. So show some school pride, and watch the men line up to talk to you. Note that if you wear a college tee during football season, and your school is ranked, you may be asked football questions, so go to the trouble of checking last weeks score.

7.    Gym Membership

Joining a gym after a breakup is a win-win. Not only do you win by improving your health and body image, but it’s yet another venue to meet men!

8.    Sports League

The single, most sure-fire way to meet guys is to join a co-ed sports team. This is also a great way to spend your newly-found free time after a breakup (see “Get a Hobby” above).

9.    Weekly City Newspapers

Every city has a weekly publication that lists all of the upcoming bars, reading events, and concerts. Next time you’re out and about, grab one. Challenge yourself to go to at least one event a month.

Hi guys,

The holidays are quickly approaching and spending the holidays alone (with a broken heart) is not all fun and games.  A great way to help avoid being depressed this holiday season is to get out and meet new people.  A great way to do this is to try out the .

In celebration of the holidays, Yahoo Personals is offering a 7 day full free trial.   It is a light, breezy site for people looking to date casually.  Not fake profiles. Also, it is  the cheapest site out there.  There are real people on there.  We wanted to let our readers know because we care about you and want to help you in all ways to mend your broken heart.  Try out Yahoo Personals free 7 day trial.  Let us know what you think.  And the best part is it’s free!

Remember the old saying, “curiosity killed the cat”? Don’t let your curiosity about your ex’s whereabouts, relationship status, status updates, job (you get the picture) compel you to hit “Accept” – or even worst “Add Friend” – when using today’s social networking sites.  It’s very tempting to be given an all access pass to view all the intimate details about what your ex is doing, but you must reject the invitation. Think about it like this: if you’re not friends with the person in real life, why would you befriend them in cyberspace?  The ladies of BHR recommend that you remember another old saying when deciding whether to become cyber friends with your ex: “Just Say No.” 

This week we are encouraged to count our blessings and all that we are grateful for. This may be hard for the broken hearted. Sometimes it is easier to focus on things we wish for, past regrets, or one situation that makes every other area in your life feel bad.

If you find yourself focusing on the negative this Thanksgiving, we ask that you shift your thoughts to the many blessings that surround you. If you find that too hard, then please make a list of ten positive things that you are grateful for. Whenever you feel angry or blue, take out your list and read it.

Also, surround yourself with supportive friends and family this
holiday season. Take notice that they are the ones that will be with you for most of your remaining holidays, and not the people that you have left in your past.

Folks, it is not called a broken heart for nothing. It actually hurts. It just goes to show you how much your emotions can affect your health. It is not just your imagination. Your sadness can manifest into all kinds of health problems and you definitely do not want that to happen. You may feel like you want to crawl into a hole and never come back out but trust me, if you hang in there and ride out the storm then one day you will want to come out.

It’s like yin and yang. There is sadness and there is happiness. Unfortunately, you cannot have one without the other. Now, I’m a glass half full girl. I believe there is a lot more happiness in the world, you just have to look for it. It takes more effort to find all of the good things in life because bad things seem to permeate a lot of people’s thoughts. And they like to spread their misery. But you have to look for the good. Look for the positive people. Of course, there are times when you will be sad and you need to grieve. But you need to let it all out and let it go. Sitting in grief is not pretty and is not healthy. The reason we write these posts is to let you know you are not alone. And you will get through. It just takes time to mend a broken heart.

If you are going through a break-up, chances are things may be a bit chaotic. Besides your wave of emotions, you may find yourself acting in ways you never did before. For example, you may be partaking in activities and events you never even took interest in before. Some people feel a bit reckless after the end of a relationship. All of the sudden, a night at the bar or a wild party sounds like a good idea!

It is understandable to act "out of character" while going through a big change. I actually think it is a good thing. All the activities
that you may have once felt held back from are now available to you.My advice? Take it on! But, not all at once. While the "new you" is a wonderful thing to become, take it in stride. Anything in excess can potentially be harmful.

I suggest finding balance between new activities. If going out on the town is your new love, then reserve at least one or two nights in.  Take these personal nights as a time to rest and reflect. Staying in every night? Then, take a night or two to go out. Even just a movie, a long walk, or a drink with a close friend is healthy. It will speed your progress by shifting a constant perspective. Creating simple balance while your new self emerges is important! And in the meanwhile, enjoy the change and the beautiful new you!

Tis’ the season to be jolly, right? Maybe not if you’ve recently split from your significant other. The holidays can be a particularly challenging time for our recently-single friends, but the ladies of BHR have come up with some coping strategies to help you turn a bah-humbug into a fa-la-la-la-la:

1.    Be Merry.  We get that it can be very depressing to see snuggly couples sharing holiday joy.  Rather than characterize these interactions as painful reminders that you are no longer in that relationship, be happy for those PDA-poster children.  The positive energy you’ll send out will come back to you in no time.

2.    Plan in advance.  If you’re left with no plans because of the break up, don’t fret and make plans. Whether this is reconnecting with family, or planning to volunteer at a charitable organization in November or December, you control the key to your social calendar.  Unlock the possibilities.

3.    Retail therapy.  We’re not advocating full-on credit card debt, but there’s nothing wrong with a little retail therapy during the holidays, especially given the amazing sales! Buy that sexy red dress that you will wear to your company’s holiday party (and stand under the mistletoe while you’re at it).

There are times after a breakup that you will lose friends along with your significant other. This just adds salt to the wound. It is bad enough that the love of your life is no longer with you but to lose a friend, also, is very painful. A lot of the time these friends are mutual friends of you and your ex. So, unfortunately, they are put in the sticky situation of choosing a side. It usually comes down to who they have known the longest or who they are better friends with when they pick a person to stay loyal to. They are not in a good situation, either, so you have to remember to give them some slack.

In almost all of my serious relationships, I have lost mutual friends along the way once my boyfriend and I have broken up. It is sad but true. If you have become great friends with his best friend’s girlfriend, chances are that relationship will end. The girlfriend is in a terrible predicament because she still has to hang out with your ex when she is with her boyfriend. And if she is hanging out with you, she feels like she is betraying your ex and her boyfriend. Not good. And why do you want to still hang out with her? Was she really that great of a friend? Or do you secretly hope that you can find out what your ex is up to if you stay in touch with his best friend’s girl? If the latter is the case, then you are in a whole heap of trouble. You are inflicting pain onto yourself that is not necessary. By continuing to hear about your ex, and what he is up to, you stay rooted in the past. You need to move on to the future. And by cutting ties with your “source” you are doing just that.

Now if you are truly good friends with a mutual friend of your ex’s, then you need to have a conversation with him or her and be completely honest. Let him or her know that you value their friendship. You realize they are in an uncomfortable situation but you will do your best to make them as comfortable as you can. You want to continue being friends and you will not—under any circumstance—bring up your ex. You may be in pain but you will deal with this grief with your other non-mutual friends and not subject him or her to that prickly conversation. If you need some time away from your friend, so that you can mourn your relationship from your ex and not impinge on them your sadness, then tell him or her exactly that. If they are receptive to all of this, then and only then can you start to move forward with the friendship independent from your ex. If they are not interested in remaining friends because it would be too hard, respect that and move on.

A lot of mutual friends are really cool people. But would you really have even been friends with them if you did not have the common factor of a person that is no longer in your life? Usually the answer is no. So why keep them in your life. Life is too short to have people in it that could be toxic by just being around. And who needs a constant reminder of your old significant other.

Sometimes there are casualties in breakups. And if you cannot remain friends with a mutual friend of your ex’s, then c’est la vie. You will find other friends. And if they are a true friend, then they will end up still there for you in the end. True friendship consists not in the multitude of friends, but in their worth and value – Ben Johnson.

One day your up, one day your down. It is common to experience a roller coaster of emotions while going through a break up. Some days, I feel great being single! I love the freedom. I enjoy spending more time with my friends and not answering to anybody. I even enjoy doing things and going places alone! But there are other days that are different. Some days, I feel sad and lonely, and a bit lost.

This is common for people who are living solo. Not having a constant companion to bounce ideas and stories off of can be strange, especially if you have been used to doing that in the past. But here at BHR, we have a few ways to help ease those not-so-great days.

1. Start a “Good Day” journal.

Writing down your feelings when you are sad is easy. How about keeping a journal only for the days that you feel good? When you are happy and feeling great about your single life, write it down. Document what you love about it. When you are having sad day, reference your “Good Day” journal. Remind yourself of your positive emotions.

2. Challenge your thoughts.

It is easy to get into a mental routine. This means to repeat the same thoughts and emotions over and over. Next time you find yourself going to the same negative thought that you have been having for a long time, challenge it with a different thought. Make these thoughts mirrors, and completely reverse your feeling on it.

3. Adopt a pet.

If you do not have a pet, now may be a great time to get one. Animals bring much life into a home, and are wonderful companions! Your local shelter will have many animals that are in need of a good home, and knowing that you rescued a life will bring much joy to your heart! If you feel you are not ready for the responsibility of an animal, plants and flowers in your home will bring life into it.

4. Create a list of your perfect mate.

Make a list of ten things that you want out of a partner. Be as specific as possible. This list will be your guide. If you begin dating, see how your date matches this list. Do not compromise and stay as true to what you desire as possible.

Being single can be a very exciting time in your life! Know that it is common and ok to have lonely days. But remember; the one thing worse than being alone is wishing that you were alone.

We’ve all been there.  You’re at a holiday party.  You are in a fixed location close enough to the punch bowl, yet far enough from the exit that you can’t easily escape when your ex walks up.  What’s a newly-single supposed to do?  One one hand, you want to "play it cool" or act confident that you don’t care that he or she is there.  But, the reality is, your ex’s presence at the holiday party makes you want to dart advent candy in his or her direction. 

The ladies of BHR have come up with this guide to help you escape the presence of your ex at holiday parties this season:

1.    If you know your ex will be there, don’t reject the invitation to the party.  Rather, find out your exes ETA, and plan your arrival accordingly. 

2.    If your ex unexpectedly shows up to a holiday part that you are attending, play it cool by making minimal (if any) eye contact and have a polite (yet cold) greeting, like, "Hi EX," and immediately resume conversation.

3.    If your ex unexpectedly shows up AND wants to talk to you for some reason, be prepared with a stock buzz phrase, "Hi EX. I know you’d like to talk, but this isn’t the best setting. You understand, don’t you?" and scurry away.

4.    If your ex unexpectedly shows up AND wants to talk ABOUT you, also be prepared for this worst-case scenario. Some (crazy) people like to piss on what they perceive to be their territories, and find that trash talking is a way to go about this.  If you are forced to gracefully exit, do say goodbye and thank you to the host, not mentioning the ex-capades. 

I really hate myself for loving my ex. I just cannot figure out how to stop thinking about him or caring about him. He was such a jerk. He definitely does not deserve a minute of my thoughts, much less, hour after hour, that I have been giving him. I know that he is not thinking of me like that (well, I have many a fantasy that he is obsessing over me and crying himself to sleep but I know better). I wish I felt like he feels- uncaring, cold and unresponsive. How did I ever let myself get so obsessed about one guy?

I was never that attracted to him in the first place. He kinda grew on me over time, like a fungus. And then, some how, I was head over heels. Ok, maybe not head over heels, (there were plenty of things that I would have changed about him) but I was definitely in deep. And he loved it. I was his prize. I was way out of his league (yes, stroking my own ego but telling the truth). And he knew it. People would question me all of the time as to why I was with him. Of all the people on the planet, everyone wanted to know, why him. But, like I said, the fungus had grabbed a hold of me and would not let me go.

So you can see my absolute shock and dismay when he broke up with me, I just could not figure it out. I was the one that should have left him. I was the one that deserved better. How did I let myself get dumped?? And, more importantly, why did I care so very much. After I spent many a day asking myself this question, I had to come to the realization that the biggest thing that he did to me was he bruised my ego.

Ah, yes, my ego. I did not ever see the fungus leaving me. I felt very secure in that fact. It sent me for an absolute tailspin when he broke up with me. I had thought about us not being together but I had always pictured it would be ME breaking up with him. Never, ever, did I think that he would break up with me. So when he did, I thought the world had tuned upside down. It just didn’t make any sense.

So here I am. I can continue to hate myself for loving him and bruising my ego or I can love myself enough to let him go. This has nothing to do with him. Well, maybe a little, but most of it has to do with me. I need to put a bandage on my ego and dust myself off and move on. I have let too many a day waste away over him. He was not worth it then and he is definitely not worth it now. I believe that every single person you date will teach you something. Most of them teach you what you are not looking for in a life-long mate. And a few will teach you what you are looking for. My fungus definitely taught me plenty about what I am not interested in.

My ego and my heart are wounded. But like Gloria Gayner says, I will survive. I will go on. And I will love again. This time, I have learned not to settle. I deserve someone who I truly love and who I am genuinely attracted to. Not just someone who grows on me after time. I want to thank the fungus for teaching me many things. Most importantly, to always trust my instincts, to know when to get out of a bad relationship and to never let any foreign substance grow on me because that is just gross. Really, gross.

BHR received this article from one of our followers, Ashley, from Rhode Island. We think it is a great article and wanted to share it with everyone. Thanks Ashley!
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I confess. I did it. I broke up with a guy for all the wrong reasons, or so I’m told.

Our break up started with the four famous last words, "we need to talk." After months of building up the courage to tell him that I just wasn’t that into him (yes, I said months), I could finally say it. Why, you ask? Well, I finally had a reason … that I could put into one sentence.

"It’s not you, it’s me. I’m not ready for a serious relationship."
What a lie. The truth was I was ready for a serious relationship, but, just not with him.

Yes, he was a well-to-do, handsome yuppie. Yes, he had a dog with a picket fence. Yes, he had values. But, just because he looked good on paper, didn’t mean he was right for me.

Let’s call it the pizza theory. I like a bunch of things independently: chocolate, goat cheese, sour patch kids. When you check the boxes and try to order a pizza with all these things as toppings, they don’t necessarily taste good.
Likewise, this guy had a bunch of great qualities (looks, deep pockets, drive, intellect, and generosity), but, put them together and we had a hot mess of an insecure guy, who wined about television show plots, snored, and criticized everything and anyone.

I had to break up with him, but, I couldn’t tell him the real reason(s). It would only lead to a fight or debate, neither of which would have a productive result. So I ended the relationship, giving him the wrong reason because it was the right thing for me.

Moral of the story… Don’t simplify compatibility down to a check-the-box form; look at the big picture. If you don’t do that, you’ll only get a slice of what a relationship is supposed to be.

Have you caught your significant other getting frisky with someone else? If you answered yes, don’t spend your time carving your name into the leather seats of his or her car (shout out to Carrie Underwood fans!); spend your time figuring out how you’re going to rehab your heart through positive, fun activities that you enjoy!

There are too many eligible daters in this word in this world to waste your time with someone that doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated. We don’t mean to get all “Dr. Phil” on you, but, through our own experiences, we know that the best way to heal a broken heart is to put the pieces together yourself.

This recovery period doesn’t involve a detailed analysis of why the person did it. We know why: she or he has no self-control. As much as they blame it on the ah-ah-ah-cohol (we’re full of music references, eh?), you need your own time to regroup and figure out if the person can give you what you want from the relationship. This does not involve asking:

(1) Are you still talking to the person you cheated with?

(2) Why did you cheat?

(3) What did I do wrong?

(4) When did it start?

(5) How many times did you cheat?

These questions are counterproductive, and won’t make you feel better. The only question you should be asking him is when he’s going to take his toothbrush out of your toothbrush holder.

One main experience I have from loss is worry.  Actually, I worry about things regardless if I am going through a break-up or not! I once read that "worrying is like praying backwards".  If you think about it, this is true.  Putting negative emotion in anything will bog down reality, and usually your worries are a waste of energy.  What you are worrying about is usually far from the truth.

Some common break-up worries?  Mine were, "why have they not called" and "what are they (or whom) doing now?"  Also, "do they miss me?" and "I wonder if they are hurting like me" are common, too.

One way to soften the blow of worrying is to turn your "what-ifs" into "so-whats".  It actually works in everything.  So if you are thinking, "what if they find someone else?" re-think it as "so what if they find someone else?"

This is a very positive exercise and can have incredible results.  And it is even pretty fun.  I mean, so what if your dog chewed up your favorite shoes and that guy has not called?  Problem solved.

How do you get over a heartbreak when you were never together in the first place? We are talking about breaking up with the one night stand.

Dare we admit it, but we have all been there in one form of another. Whether it was that dream girl who you chatted up all night at the bar who never took your call, or that steamy blind date you had which never even materialized into a follow-up call, the heartbreak is real.

But why do we feel heartbreak after only knowing someone for one night? Someone who we were never together with in the first place? These are age old questions, but the answer is simple: we think about what might have been.

Men and women alike often get caught up in the "maybe" game. Maybe she/he was the one? Maybe if I would have done XYZ, he/she would have called me?

Our advice to you is stop the maybe game, and move on. What’s there to love about a person whose last name you don’t know? You don’t know. How do you know that you would have been compatible if you don’t even know the persons core beliefs? You don’t! Break up with the notion that someone who you don’t even know anything about could have been the one.

Remember that meeting the right person is – depending on your beliefs – either a numbers game or destiny. So if the one night stand doesn’t turn into your next relationship, just know you’re one step closer to finding someone who just might be right for you.

Whenever I go through a breakup, I really want to talk to my friends about it. Actually, I want to talk to anyone about it who will listen!  It is not that I enjoy hearing myself talk, it is for another reason.  I am looking for that person to give me advice. Even more, I am looking for that person to say something perfect that will give me the "ah ha!" moment. The moment that makes it all make sense.  Basically, tell me something that will make me see clearly and make all of this go away.  I believe it is therapeutic to talk like this. I mean, you ARE trying to make sense of this mess, right? But, be careful.  Sometimes overdoing this is counter productive.

Your friends and colleagues will be there for you, but too much dishing out on your part will eventually be draining for them. Most people are eager to help, but don’t become a drag. The last thing you want are the people who are in your life to cringe when your name pops up on the caller I.D. 

I am not saying don’t talk about your feelings and ask for advice. But keep it to a limit. Even allow yourself ten minutes of bitching and moaning, and then cut yourself off (unless the conversation is productive on both ends and is feeling natural). And remember, ALWAYS ask how the other person is doing at some point. Otherwise, you will have friends that feel used and drained, and will dread your company. Make this a point, and they will likely feel grateful to offer you advice and their insight. Just asking about THEM will make a huge difference. As well, it will give you a quick mental break from your own thoughts, and that, is refreshing.

Getting through a broken heart is hard. Regardless of what the loss is, change can be challenging. During this time, it is important to take care of yourself.  Stress more than likely is a big factor at these times. Emotional and mental strain (wracking your brain to make sense of what is happening) is understandable. A healthy diet and exercise is a sure way to alleviate excess stress. But herbs and vitamins to supplement your diet can be helpful during troubled times.  Daily multi-vitamins are always recommended, regardless of crisis or not. Extra omega 3’s and flax are beneficial for mental clarity. An extra dose of vitamin C, not exceeding 1000mg a day will help boost immunity, which tends to suffer during high stress times. And feeling fatigued? Load up on your B’s to help maintain a level mood. 

Herbs are beneficial as well. Mood elevating St. Johns Wort is a wonderful antidote to depression, as well as 400mg of Sam-E (not suggested to take both during the same time and be careful about taking St. Johns Wort if you are on birth control and sexually active-it can negate your birth control). Two doses of vitamin D a day (400mg each) will also do wonders for your sorrows.  Can’t sleep with that racing mind? Melatonin, taken half an hour before bedtime, will ease you to slumber. Chamomile tea is great for bedtime as well. It is relaxing, decaffeinated, and natural.  Take this time to invest in yourself, and love yourself. Your body, mind, and spirit will thank you for it.

**Please consult with your physician prior to taking any vitamins or supplements.

While breaking up with an ex is no fine dining experience, between beaus, it is important to cleanse your dating palate.

So how do you begin?

Start off with light dates to stimulate the palate. Someone smart, who is good company, and who gives you a little ego boost (read: someone less attractive).

It is also important for the palate cleanser to be a nice, drama-free, and down to earth person person. Ask your friends to set you up with that token "nice guy" or "sweet girl" girl in their social circle. This person will be a good reference point in developing a taste of how you should be treated.

Most importantly, do not go out with someone that you lust over or who reminds you of your ex. That would be like tasting a pinot noir and then cleansing your palate with a shot of Jack Daniels. Remember that it’s easier to discover and appreciate new and finer flavors down the road if you clear your senses before getting to the next.

Who said that being alone is lonely? Yes, I admit, it can be. It can also be very liberating. Think of all of the things your ex didn’t like to do but you did. Do it now! Grab your girl friends or guy friends and go out and do the stuff you couldn’t do with your ex! How great does that feel! And if you want to make an even greater leap, go do a few things by yourself! That’s right, you, yourself, go out and celebrate that you are ok being alone. My ex hated the gym, so I went to the gym, a lot. My ex hated girly movies, I went with my friends or by myself.

There is no greater sense of accomplishment than knowing you are ok by yourself. You will survive! You can survive. I do not believe we were intended as human beings to be alone but you need to be ok with yourself. You will never be truly happy with anyone until you are happy with yourself. When you can embrace your flaws and your most wonderful traits then you will be unstoppable. You will ooze of sexiness. No one can resist someone who is self-confident. That is a person that is ready to share their life with another person. They know what they want and are confident to ask for it.

So go out and learn to love yourself. You are a unique, wonderful person and when you realize that then the rest of the world will realize it, too!

Do you have a guy that lives off of you?  Do you support him not only emotionally but financially?  Do you pick up the tab every time you go out to eat?  These guys are the worst parasites.  They suck the blood and money out of you.  And I see more and more of them popping up all of the time.  I have two beautiful, successful, smart girl friends that are dating these leeches.  You would think they would know better.  You would think that they would know that they deserve better.  But they don’t.  I don’t know if it is their low self-esteem or something else.  But they are being taken for a ride.

I have noticed that normally these guys do not start off looking for handouts.  They are usually smooth talkers with big pocketbooks.  They will wine and dine, at first, to catch their prey.  Once they have you hook, line and sinker, they will cut off all financial benefits.  Listen, I’m all for women’s lib and paying for a dinner here and there, but when you are being taken advantage of-if you are a guy or a girl-then it is time to cut the leech loose.  When you are not only paying for his every dinner but rent, child support and nights out with the guys that do not include you-get out! 

Are there times in any relationship when financial struggles hit?  Of course.  A guy or girl can run into hard times.  That is one thing.  But when your significant other is unapologetically taking advantage of your good heart and paycheck then there is a problem.  And you know deep in your heart when that is.  When you can’t look your friends in the eye and tell them that you made his car payment for the fourth time in a row and he is going to Reno with the guys this weekend, there is a problem.

Please don’t let these guys-or girls-take advantage of you.  You deserve better.  You heart may ache for a little while when you let them go but your pocketbook and your head will sing a very rich song.

Should you have sex with your ex?  NOOOOOOOOOO!!!  Did I make that clear enough?  NOOOOOOOO!!!  Please for the love of God, do not have sex with your ex.  He doesn’t want you.  He just wants to get laid. 

Having sex with your ex will always lead to one thing…NOTHING!  Along with a healthy dose of despair and hating yourself more afterwards, sex with your ex is a bad thing.  There is no such thing as closure sex.  If you still want this person, and I know you do, having a roll in the hay will only lead you into the manure pile and not into green pastures like you are hoping.

He will not take you back because you blew his socks off (literally or not) in bed.  He knows how great you are in bed, that’s why he is calling.  It is outside of the bedroom that he does not want to be around you.  And that is just plain mean of him.  And that is why he should stay your ex and does not deserve to have sex with you.  Save the goods for someone else.  Someone who wants to hold your hair back when you are puking because you are sick with the flu.  This guy does not want to do that anymore, if he ever did.

There will never be a more defining moment for him than the moment he calls you and you turn him down.  He knows you are desperate to get back together with him.  He is a vulture and is trying to feed on your half dead carcass and pretends to breathe life into you by dangling a carrot, or his small penis.  This is not going to bring you back from your nightmare that has become your reality.  You will forever stay in his mind because you turned him down, not because you caved and gave into him. 

You want him to want you.  And you can only do that by not giving in.  This is the only way to take back your power.  You have the upper hand.  You went out on top (again not literally).  He’ll never know the satisfaction of being with you again.  He doesn’t deserve it.  And you deserve to be with someone who wants you for more than just a 30 minute time block.  Plus, I’m just sayin’, you don’t know where his carrot has been lately.

Trust me, you will thank me later for this, sex with your ex is always a big fat NO NO!

Although going through a break up can be hard, there are actually perks to the new found freedom you are about to experience. The road to recovery may be tough, but there is a new world waiting for you on the other side.

One of the experiences is what I consider the healing process. This consists of different things. Some of this is shedding emotional baggage, some physical. Also, this can be transforming into a new person that never existed prior to your last relationship. There is a new you waiting to be revealed.  Emotional baggage will start to come off as time passes. Any hurts, wounds, and wrong doings begin to lose its power and grip. This is the natural process of healing. Like a bruise, it will look worse before it gets better. But once it heals, it is very unlikely you will bruise that same spot again.

You are wiser and more aware of that spot, not to hurt it twice.  Also, you may remember things about yourself that you forgot in your last relationship. Have you always loved painting, writing, etc ? This is a good opportunity to reconnect with your creative self.

Any emotion you feel, express it through an art you enjoy. Anger, sadness, regret can be channeled and made beautiful. Make space in your life to rediscover who you are and have always wanted to be. Right now is the time to express your vulnerabilities. The best work comes from a place of introspect, and it is very nurturing.

As well, reconnecting with your friends and family is helpful, but allow yourself some alone time to reflect on what you have learned from this last relationship. What aspects did you enjoy? What do you feel is best to leave behind and not bring into your next adventure? This is a time of rapid growth and can be very exciting!  So let yourself feel the healing process, experience it, and embrace it. There is nothing that time (and a few martinis) can’t heal.

There are obvious signs that a woman is being led on, let down, or just plain ignored (usually after a wonderful romp in the bedroom, full of fireworks, so surely he will call!) Women have the luxury of wonderful girlfriends to ooze insecurities to and bounce off any of the famous “what ifs” to. But where does a man turn when in need of guidance? Who will be honest and point out the signs that she is not that into them? Sure, they have beer and buddies. But when it gets down to it, there ARE ways to tell if a woman is after your heart, or simply running from the start.

Usually with men, they are either into a woman or not. Not just sleeping with a woman. That doesn’t count. They either fall hard or not. Any middle ground truly is not enticing enough to keep one around. It’s black and white. Easy enough.

Not so much for a woman. Sure, we fall head over heels for some men. And they will know when this happens. But when we don’t fall hard, and we know you really want us, we sweep you into one of two categories: Sucker or Clueless.

It is not too easy to get the two confused. They are very different. Are you a man after a woman’s heart and she seems to be stringing you along? Chances are you are one of the two. I am here to help you figure out which category (to her) you belong in.

Being a Sucker is in some ways the better of the two. This is because you will be getting plenty of attention. Like, her car broke down and she needs a ride to work. Or, her dog Dolce is stuck at doggy day care and she would really love for you to pick her up while she gets her nails done. I once had a male victim that was such a Sucker that his lady friend convinced him to buy, build, and paint a new fence for her entire yard.

Men love to feel proud and boost their ego, and this usually allows it. Any attention from a female they are fond of makes them feel good. But there is a line that can be crossed. Ask yourself, “Am I being taken advantage of? Does she give me a big hug and kiss on the cheek after I paint her house? Is it strange I never hear from her again until she has another crisis?” If the answer is yes, then you, my friend, have been trapped into the web of an uninterested woman. What she is interested in is your unwavering commitment to do all of her shit that she does not want to handle. My advice on this is to become unavailable and watch how her level of respect for you magically increases.

Now, being Clueless is not as much fun. The ego is deflated like a three day old party balloon, as opposed to being puffed up on the bullshit that the Sucker gets to enjoy. Here is a list of some signs to tell if you are Clueless:

-You call, she never calls you back.

-You send her flowers; she never calls you to thank you.

-You send an e-mail asking her to lunch, she never writes back.

-You send her candy; she eats it, and never calls.

-You sit around wondering if she enjoyed the flowers, candy, e-card with singing teddy bears.

-You wonder because she never called you back. What she did do is make fun of you to all of her friends.

My advice? Stop. Just stop right now. Give the flowers to your mama. This woman does not care, and the longer you waste time on her, the longer you waste your time on everything. Because I know after a few failed attempts you will be scheming something bigger and better to get that attention you have spent way too much money and energy on. In the meantime, look around and notice the lovely faces of other ladies that would be happy to be loved by you.

I don’t mean to be harsh to you amazing men out there, because we women love you! We really do. I am here to protect your heart and pride so you may reserve it for the lady that deserves it (like my rhyme?). I suggest you do not be ashamed if you realize you have been a Sucker or Clueless. Women can be crafty. But if you do have this realization, it is time to change your behavior. Until then, ask yourself if you really should have driven ten miles to bring her that tall skinny mocha chino without whipped cream. That is, of course, after you dropped Dolce off at daycare.

Getting over an ex is hard. Some people turn to alcohol, food, or drugs. Other people turn to the internet. Indeed, the internet has become somewhat of a quiet enabler for those who want to stalk their exes after a breakup. With unabridged access to every intimate aspect of your ex’s life, it’s hard to resist seeing your ex just a mouse click away. Want to know whether his mood is “ninja” or “cantankerous”? Just log onto Myspace. Want to know whether his relationship status is “complicated” with that chic he was buying shots for at the bar last week? Just log onto Facebook. Want to know if his employer fired him yet for looking at porn during his lunch break? Check out LinkedIn. You get the picture.

Even if your conscience is your only witness, internet stalking your ex is a bad idea. Like the throngs of other bachelors on the prowl, your ex has probably posted a studly picture of himself aimed at enticing his female viewers to “poke” him on one of the popular social networking sites. His profile details are, of course, a snapshot of how wonderful he is currently doing after the breakup (mood: “stoked”; status: “single”), and likely includes several “wall posts” from one of his 36 “top friends.” Don’t forget his status update, where you’ll likely find that he is traveling to Vegas, or just fucked a playmate, or something equally infuriating as you sit at home watching reruns of Project Runway. After all, what better way for him to let the world know that he’s okay after the break up than to advertise it online to the world!

This is the pitfall of internet stalking. You’re going to see things you don’t want to see (read: your ex doing fabulously post-breakup). If your ex has succeeded in posting a salacious social resume online, you’re also likely to have the same feelings you would as if you were still in the relationship if you haven’t healed (e.g. jealously, anger, disappointment). This is a dangerous and unproductive behavior.

We agree with the experts who say that one of the best ways to get over an ex is to keep your distance. This means no drunk dialing, no sex, no “talking things out” just one more time, and most importantly, no internet stalking. Now, we hope you can see why.

So the next time you get the itch to see whether your ex uploaded pictures from a bacchanalian revelry or if he changed his status from “single” to “in a relationship,” channel that energy into something productive – like going onto bluefly.com and purchasing a dress that will bring out your inner sexy bitch.

I’m guilty. I tend to typecast by only looking for those prettyboys – you know, the ones with the slick hair, fast car, nice jeans, and million dollar smile? My heart melts (and repeatedly breaks) over these guys.

I think I’ve psyched myself out over the years into thinking this is the only guy I can be attracted to. It’s what I like. It’s what I know. It’s also the reason why I’m perpetually breaking up!

If you’re like me, you need a solution. Instead of treating your mate selection like a job requirements checklist, it’s important to venture out of your comfort zone, especially after a break up. Besides, why would you want to date someone who is the same “guy type” as your ex? It will be nothing more than a painful reminder of the reasons why you loved (notice, that’s in the past tense) that person.

Here’s the scenario. You like bananas. You also like bell peppers. Would you ever eat those two things at the same time? Of course not! The moral of the story is that just because you like two things independent, doesn’t mean you have to find them (or that you will enjoy them) in the same thing.

The same holds true for dating. You like guys who are 6’3. You also like guys with Pete Wenz haircuts. Just because you find a guy who has those two things, doesn’t mean you’ll be happy or that he’s your type. A lot more goes into the dating equation, and you must see the big picture (not just his bulging biceps).

So challenge yourself to break out of the mold. I know it’s tough – you may actually have to look a little deeper or in a different direction, but I promise you that it will be worth it. If you don’t branch out, you’ll never find out what you like and more importantly, what you don’t like.

It is scientifically proven that exercise is not only good for your heart cardiovascularly but also mentally. When you are heartbroken, you want to feel good and, of course, you want to look good! Since there is no magic pill (damn, they need to invent one of those), go exercise. But you “don’t feel like it”, I know staying in bed and crying and watching depressing movies sounds so much better, that is when you need to go out and work up a sweat! And don’t even think about grabbing the cookies and ice cream and booze while you watch these sappy heart wrenching movies, they won’t help. All these foods/drinks will do is make you lethargic and cause you to pack on the pounds. And that won’t show, oh what’s his face, what a big mistake that he made by breaking up with you. Instead, show him by becoming a more confident, healthy and sexier you by exercising.

When my ex dumped me, the only thing that made me feel better was to exercise. I would head to the gym and put on my Ipod and listen to songs like Chris Daughtry’s “Over You” and Beyonce’s “Irreplaceable”. Not only are they great for pushing your heart rate, they also gave me a “He’ll be sorry he left me” attitude. Especially after I whipped myself into super woman shape by going to the gym. I would smile when songs came on that spoke to me and assured me that “I would survive”, thanks Gloria Gaynor. It was an hour a day that I felt good about myself and I felt like I was invincible. I had a great, “fuck you” attitude about my ex when I was running on the treadmill. It is truly what got me through the dark days. I could not have made it through if I had stayed in bed and ate the whole day long. All that would have accomplished would be pounds gained and my self-esteem would have plummeted. Now, I’m not a gym rat. I hate the gym. But once I got there and I was sweating and my heart was pounding and I turned on my breakup mix (not the sappy one but the “you’ll be sorry” one), I was good to go. The time flew by.

Now, how does this apply to you? All you have to do is decide, right here and now, that you are going to use those sweatpants you have been living in to do what they are intended for you to do-sweat! That’s right, get up-NOW! Go outside or go to the gym and put one foot in front of the other, quickly! Make sure you are working up a sweat. Take out your anger and frustration on your walk/run. Bring some music that will make you feel good. Sweat for at least 30 minutes. Do more when you feel like it. And there will be days you feel like it. It becomes addicting and you want to feel good. So you will workout longer. And there are days that you will need to rest, but make those days few and far in-between. Aim to workout at least 3-5 days a week. You don’t need a gym membership, you can just walk outdoors. Start sweating that man right out of your life and in no time your heart will thank you for it in more ways than one. And by the end I know that you will survive and your hot self will look kick ass in a mini-skirt when you start dating a hotter, better guy that you met on a run!